So let me get this straight Fabos, you're trying to concoct scenarios to support your belief that this years Super Bowl is not the worst possible Super Bowl that could have happened for Packer fans?
You do realize this is like gee I don't know, Rex Grossman trying to spin a tail on why a 0.0 quarterback rating is not his fault.
The absolute worst possible case for a Super Bowl. The only matchup that would have been worse would have been if the Bears would be playing the Vikings, and that's not possible.
So with that in mind, here is your list of worst possible Super Bowl matchups. Of course, only in the eyes of Packer fans, and well...god.
5. Vikings v. Colts
We can all relax because this one will never happen. But lets just say it did. Who do you root for? Peyton Manning? The freaking Vikings? Tough call.
Why It Won't Happen
No former Porn Star has ever gone on to coach in a Super Bowl (sorry Brad Childress).
4. Seahawks v. Broncos
The only way this becomes truely awful is if the Walrus defeats Mike Shannahan in this one. Mike Holgren gets a ring with the Seahawks or Javon Walker gets his first? Oh god, I think I'm going to vomit just thinking of that.
Why It Won't Happen
As we've recently found out, both coaches are terribly overrated and have major flaws. Holmgren out-awful-coached Lovie Smith in the Divisional round this year, and has really looked bad in every playoff game he's been in since he had Brett Favre. Mike Shannahan looks like a rat, and has since lost his O-line guru in Alex Gibbs and his right hand man, Gary Kubiak.
3. Vikings v. Broncos
Ohh boy, I need a bag. I think I'm going to vomit, and I haven't even looked at the Vikings uniforms yet. Quick rundown of the despised in this one. Javon Walker? Check. Darren Sharper? Check. Mike Shannahan? Check. Bob Slowik? Check. The only thing that could make this worse is Shannon Sharpe, Terrell Davis, John Elway, Chris Carter, Robert Smith and John Randle all coming out of retirement to play in this game. Oh, and Chris Hovan rejoins the Vikings.
Why It Won't Happen
Shannon Sharpe, Terrell Davis, John Elway, Chris Carter, Robert Smith and John Randle are not coming out of retirement.
2. Bears v. Colts
So I have to pick between the Bears or Peyton Manning to win a Super Bowl? At the risk of sounding completely over the line, I'll save my original analogy and use this one instead, do I want to lose my right arm or my left?
Why It Won't Happen
Son of a Bitch
1. Bears v. Broncos
Oh god, I've officially had it. I can't even go on with this one, I'm afriad if I do it will happen next year.
Why It Won't Happen
God can't hate me that much can he? He would really do this to me two years in a row, or just twice in one lifetime?
So, maybe it turns out you were right Fabos, but barely. Let's just forget this column ever even happened, shall we?
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Any Super Bowl that features the Minnesota Vikings automatically trumps any other matchup in terms of how awful it can get. If this year was the Vikings v. Colts, that would be horribly worse than what it currently is.
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