Here's a bit of irony in it's highest form for you: Fox, much like tight fisted, frugal Republicans across the country, has conceded victory. In the case of the Republicans, they were getting spanked by Democrats. Fox was getting demoralized by ABC and CBS. But think about, the Fox Network having to resort to retreating just like its party of choice! HIGH-larious! What I mean by all of this is that Fox is moving The OC back to The WED. evenings because it can't compete against the big boppers of prime time TV. So us few OC viewers that still actually care about the program were treated to two new 'pisodes in two days. So forgive me if I neglect to touch on all the key points. At this rate, we'll hit Christmakuh by Thanksgiving and The OC will run its February sweeps episode in late December. Keep your fingers crossed that the show still is being broadcast by February.
The underlying theme and conclusion that we arrived at after two hours of Newport goodness is that Julie, Summer and Ryan have finally officially began the "grieving" phase of Marissa's death. Seth told Summer upon her return to Newport Beach that her kooky behavior is because her best friend passed away. (Note the lack of an OTL line). Volchok came crawling back to Newport after Seth told him Ryan was going to pummel him like Bruce Willis that yellow thing in Sin City, and found safety in the form of Sandy Cohen.
When Ryan caught wind of the Sandman "helping" Volchok he went out to find him, but he should have known he can't out fox the fox himself. Sandy took him straight to Volchok and after Rhino landed a few haymakers to "Kevin's" face, he realized Volchok would let him kill him to be done with everything. So Ryan snaps to and realizes he wants Volchok to have to live with himself for what he did. Out goes the villain in cuffs to the county clink where he will no doubt serve hard time and probably get a tryout with the Cincinnati Bengals upon his release back into society.
Was I happy that Ryan didn't write himself a ticket to prison by killing Volchok? Yes. Was it about as anti-climatic of an ending to Volchok's character imaginable? Indeed. I'll say boldly however, that the scene of Julie showing up to the Cohen's clustereffe of a Thanksgiving dinner after Sandy had slapped a ban on her, was one of the best in OC history. The fact that she apologized, then admitted that she's never meant an apology before was dead on. Only it was bettered by Ryan and Julie sitting in the pool house, and Ryan opened up about the first time he ever laid eyes on Marissa. (Note: I badly wanted them to cut to the scene he was talking about from the Pilot right there). Hands down, in the top five of best OC moments in the books. If you think about the history between the two characters through all the seasons, for them to be next to each other, for the lack of another word, vulnerable, was a tear jerker. (Note 2: I shed not a tear, but I'm guessing 99% of the female viewers did).
My Shenanigans chant from last week, as predicted, hit a bullseye. Summer needs to "get her head screwed back on" before she can fulfill her 10 minutes of time with Cohen in his room.
Some crap may or may not have happened with Taylor getting engaged to some French dude. It's a funny story line for Taylor to have as it was much needed with all the Volchok vibes reverberating through Orange County. Catch you next Friday! I've decided against posting any sort of "Thursday morning headache" stuff...even I need a break from the show time and again.
QUESTIONS FROM THE COUCH
1. How many more episodes until Taylor and Ryan are pushed toward each other?
2. I wonder how JamesOn Cooper is handling the death of his eldest daughter? Probably by efficiently placing someone's money into an awful junk bond.
3. I know they referenced it on the show. But just how gay and lame are they making Luke Ward's younger brothers?
3A. Are those guys like lap dogs? They were always just there whenever Kaitlyn was on screen. Replacing them with a lap dog last episode? Quite humorous.
4. Is The OC the most "left sided" thing Fox has ever aired? You almost have to feel bad for the Republican News Network after last Tuesday. Wait...nope!
5. How much weight did Volchok's chicky friend lose from last season?
DRIVIN DOWN THE 101
The dig on Grey's Anatomy's "Seattle Grace Hospital" was NOT the first time Schwartz has teed up a fellow program. Remember in season duece when he had Seth comment about "The Real Valley" show and how mind numbingly boring it was? First he goes after Laguna Beach, then Grey's.
IF YOU BELIEVE THEY PUT A MAN ON THE MOON...
...you can believe Dr. Roberts will shortly be prominently featured on Grey's Anatomy.
...you can believe Ryan will somehow get into Berkeley yet.
...you can believe the main characters will all wind up at Madison yet.
...you can believe the Christmakuh episode will see....nope, got nothing on that one yet!
Thursday, November 09, 2006
Thursday, November 02, 2006
The OC Friday Morning Hangover: The Punisher'pisode
That LeBron James commercial made me want to put on my finest suit and completely disregard my impeccable do by doing some circus dive into a pool while a younger, more athletic me logged some miles via a running pool workout. But enough about the commercial and more about the episode that is most likely the final season premier in OC history. Season 4 started off with some acid-trip like glimpse into the life of post Marissa Ryan Atwood and Julie Cooper Nicol Cooper Roberts. But there's much to talk about since I haven't posted an OC wrap-up in what seems over a year. But The Hangover's back! Honestly, did it really ever go anywhere? My friend Jimmy's bloody stand would suggest otherwise.
Everybody shout this next line at the top of your lungs: SHENANIGANS! There, perhaps Schwartz heard that out on the west coast. He is my most loyal reader who is to big time to ever post a response. Yes Mr. Schwartz, Shenanigans on this whole Seth/Summer disconnect thing right out of the chute. Your show is pitted against CSI and Grey's Anatomy, you're not breaking up S/S just quite yet. Might it happen before season's end? Perhaps. But that's in May and it's currently November. Marissa's already dead, you can't put the show in the hands of Luke Ward's brother just quite yet. That being said, I like the obvious scenes of S/S clearly not being what they used to be. Lost in the shuffle of Julie becoming a resident of Arkum Asylum and Atwood morphing into the Punisher is the fact that Summer Roberts was Coop's best friend. It is of my belief that all things Newport make it tough for her to come to grips with the fact that Marissa is indeed gone, putting her in the "denial" state of coping, which is easier for her since she's taken up residency in Rhode Island. But long live S/S.
As predicted in May of 2006, Ryan is set to become the Punisher. He is honing his skills in the same cage the Scorpions used for the "Rock you like a hurricane" music video. Ok, that's a lie. But apparently his coping device was getting the snot whiped out of him by biker dudes as a way to toughen up. But seeing the comic book recap of his life and how he touched the lives of so many made him realize that he should come home to the pool house and then seek and destroy Volchok.
The other stories going on are this, in no particular order or importance:
-Kaitlyn Cooper is having menage a trois's with Luke Ward's younger brother and wears the big "I want to get laid" boots.
-Dr. Roberts is two timing Julie, who isn't all there, with his ex-wife, the stepmonster.
-Taylor Townsend removed herself or got kicked out of Paris in no less than two months.
I like the overall direction they're going in S4 of the OC. It has an obvious different tone and feel to it, which, quite frankly, needed to be done. When the main character of the show dies and everyone else is done with high school, changes had to be made and one of my best acquaintances that doesn't talk to me, Schwartz, seems to have stepped up. I'll warn you though, The OC dominates the first four episodes to start a season, blasts out a dousy for Christmakuh, one more for the February sweeps, two or three to end the season, but can come up short for the other 17. so hold your breath. I am.
QUESTIONS FROM THE COUCH
1. Does Ryan really need to prepare himself for his showdown with Volchok by cage fighting in seedy underground pummeling clubs? According to my calculations, Ryan smoked him in the face the first time they met, scared the beans off him by threatening to beat his brains in with a bottle the second time and whupped up on him so bad the third time he nearly killed him. Uh, I think he can handle him already.
2. Why does Ryan Atwood keep getting free passes? He's had life gift wrapped for him since meeting the Sandman and somehow or another finds ways to resort to his old ways.
3. Who will JamesOn Cooper bankrupt next?
4. Did the San Francisco Giants allocate more dollars to their outfielders not named Barroid Bonds or their bullpen in 2006?
5. Is Newport really destined to sink in just 10 more years? That'd be pretty funny seeing as I live in the Midwest. My Johnson Creek becoming a booming metropolis theory might be right on track!
6. Could Summer really "jam on the didge" after only a few months on campus? That's a tough instrument to get down pat.
7. What state don't I give a damn for?
DRIVING DOWN THE 101
The history book gets bigger and bigger each year this show stays on the air. I'll go with a 'first' this time around. It's the first time we ever saw the oft mentioned but here to date never seen, "Stepmonster."
How 'bout one more first for y'all. Seeing the new opening credits and not having Mischa Barton there?
IF YOU BELIEVE THEY PUT A MAN ON THE MOON...
...you'll believe Summer doesn't stay at Brown. If for nothing else, if she's gone hippie this quickly, it won't be able to contain her. Maybe she'll have to transfer to gee, I don't know, Berkeley?
...you'll believe Steve-O will antique someone next 'pisode.
...you'll believe this: Taylor Townsend-Ryan Atwood.
Everybody shout this next line at the top of your lungs: SHENANIGANS! There, perhaps Schwartz heard that out on the west coast. He is my most loyal reader who is to big time to ever post a response. Yes Mr. Schwartz, Shenanigans on this whole Seth/Summer disconnect thing right out of the chute. Your show is pitted against CSI and Grey's Anatomy, you're not breaking up S/S just quite yet. Might it happen before season's end? Perhaps. But that's in May and it's currently November. Marissa's already dead, you can't put the show in the hands of Luke Ward's brother just quite yet. That being said, I like the obvious scenes of S/S clearly not being what they used to be. Lost in the shuffle of Julie becoming a resident of Arkum Asylum and Atwood morphing into the Punisher is the fact that Summer Roberts was Coop's best friend. It is of my belief that all things Newport make it tough for her to come to grips with the fact that Marissa is indeed gone, putting her in the "denial" state of coping, which is easier for her since she's taken up residency in Rhode Island. But long live S/S.
As predicted in May of 2006, Ryan is set to become the Punisher. He is honing his skills in the same cage the Scorpions used for the "Rock you like a hurricane" music video. Ok, that's a lie. But apparently his coping device was getting the snot whiped out of him by biker dudes as a way to toughen up. But seeing the comic book recap of his life and how he touched the lives of so many made him realize that he should come home to the pool house and then seek and destroy Volchok.
The other stories going on are this, in no particular order or importance:
-Kaitlyn Cooper is having menage a trois's with Luke Ward's younger brother and wears the big "I want to get laid" boots.
-Dr. Roberts is two timing Julie, who isn't all there, with his ex-wife, the stepmonster.
-Taylor Townsend removed herself or got kicked out of Paris in no less than two months.
I like the overall direction they're going in S4 of the OC. It has an obvious different tone and feel to it, which, quite frankly, needed to be done. When the main character of the show dies and everyone else is done with high school, changes had to be made and one of my best acquaintances that doesn't talk to me, Schwartz, seems to have stepped up. I'll warn you though, The OC dominates the first four episodes to start a season, blasts out a dousy for Christmakuh, one more for the February sweeps, two or three to end the season, but can come up short for the other 17. so hold your breath. I am.
QUESTIONS FROM THE COUCH
1. Does Ryan really need to prepare himself for his showdown with Volchok by cage fighting in seedy underground pummeling clubs? According to my calculations, Ryan smoked him in the face the first time they met, scared the beans off him by threatening to beat his brains in with a bottle the second time and whupped up on him so bad the third time he nearly killed him. Uh, I think he can handle him already.
2. Why does Ryan Atwood keep getting free passes? He's had life gift wrapped for him since meeting the Sandman and somehow or another finds ways to resort to his old ways.
3. Who will JamesOn Cooper bankrupt next?
4. Did the San Francisco Giants allocate more dollars to their outfielders not named Barroid Bonds or their bullpen in 2006?
5. Is Newport really destined to sink in just 10 more years? That'd be pretty funny seeing as I live in the Midwest. My Johnson Creek becoming a booming metropolis theory might be right on track!
6. Could Summer really "jam on the didge" after only a few months on campus? That's a tough instrument to get down pat.
7. What state don't I give a damn for?
DRIVING DOWN THE 101
The history book gets bigger and bigger each year this show stays on the air. I'll go with a 'first' this time around. It's the first time we ever saw the oft mentioned but here to date never seen, "Stepmonster."
How 'bout one more first for y'all. Seeing the new opening credits and not having Mischa Barton there?
IF YOU BELIEVE THEY PUT A MAN ON THE MOON...
...you'll believe Summer doesn't stay at Brown. If for nothing else, if she's gone hippie this quickly, it won't be able to contain her. Maybe she'll have to transfer to gee, I don't know, Berkeley?
...you'll believe Steve-O will antique someone next 'pisode.
...you'll believe this: Taylor Townsend-Ryan Atwood.
Sunday, September 10, 2006
2006 NFL AFC Predictions
AFC East
1. New England Patriots 11-5
2. Miami Dolphins 9-7
3. Buffalo Bills 7-9
4. New York Jets 5-11
The Patriots are still the class of the division, but there's no longer that aura of invincibility around them. The offense is as good as it's ever been, but the defense has taken some serious hits and has very little depth. They will face some competition from Miami, but the Dolphins aren't there quite yet.
The addition of Duante Culpepper gives them stability at quarterback for the first time since Dan Marino was under the helm, but the offense has very few playmakers surrounding him. The defense seems to have progressively gotten worse since it's run of being an elite unit in the mid 90's. Zach Thomas looks like an old linebacker, and is surrounded by young guys on the outside, and Sam Madison and Pat Surtain are both gone now. The defensive side of the ball is younger and rebuilding, while the offense is more established. Once the defense gets experienced they will challenge New England.
How did Dick Jauron get another job as head coach? Craig Nall left Green Bay in the offseason because he no longer wanted to be a third string quarterback, so he signed with Buffalo where he's the third string quarterback. The offense lost Eric Moulds, and sans Willis McGahee they have no playmakers, the defense is good but not good enough to bail out this anemic offense.
Chad Pennington is returning from a shoulder operation, Curtis Martin may be done, Kevin Mawae left in free agency, and their two best defense players from a year ago (John Abraham and Ty Law) are both gone now. J-E-T-S JETS, JETS, JETS!
AFC North
1. Pittsburgh Steelers 11-5
2. Cincinnati Bengals 11-5
3. Baltimore Ravens 8-8
4. Cleveland Browns 6-10
I will admit, I had the Bengals and Steelers swapped but changed my mind after seeing thursday nights game. The defense still looks very impressive, and the offense looked good enough without Big Ben in there. They have lost more than they upgraded in the offseason, but they're still the defending champs so I'm giving them the benefit of the doubt till someone knocks them off.
Carson Palmer looked great in the preseason and that was really the only question surrounding this team. They have the best offense in the division and the defense gives up big yards but causes turnovers and makes plays.
I really like Steve McNair, but the Ravens really can't expect Steve McNair to be their savior to come in and turn things around. The offense is still very very bad, I have questions about Jamal Lewis, and the recievers don't scare anybody. The defense is still very good, but Ray Lewis and others are starting to get and look old. The window in Baltimore has officially closed. That sound you just heard was Brian Billick searching through the papers looking for new work.
Romeo Crennel has this team headed in the right direction. Charlie Frye, Braylon Edwards and Kellen Winslow are all perennial pro bowlers, and the defense has a nice mixture of young guys and veterans. They still need an offensive line though, and if you're reading this and have played Center before, the Browns are interested.
AFC South
1. Indianapolis Colts 11-5
2. Jacksonville Jaguars 8-8
3. Tennessee Titans 7-9
4. Houston Texans 4-12
Edgerrin James will be a huge loss to this team, he really was their MVP. Whether it was running the ball, catching passes out of the backfield, or picking up the blitz and blocking, James did it all. Now they have to rely on a career backup running back and a rookie to carry the load. The play-action will not be as effective and this offense won't look quite as unstopable anymore.
The Jaguars got lucky a lot last year. They had an easy schedule and won a lot of close games. The schedule is not as easy this year, so they won't be in nearly as many close games, and their best offensive player (Jimmy Smith) abruptly retired in the offseason. Fred Taylor can't stay healthy, Greg Jones tore his ACL in the preseason so he's lost of the year, and Matt Jones and Reggie Williams are Byron Leftwitch's starting recievers. Better hope the defense takes a lot of interceptions and fumble recoveries back for touchdowns.
This team is headed in the right direction and has talented youth on offense in Vince Young, LenDale White, David Givens and Ben Troupe. They just need more time to gel. The defense shouldn't be too bad either, defense is never really a question on any Jeff Fisher coached team. They'll be inconsisten this year, but will be a playoff caliber team again in two years.
Gary Kubiak walked into a mess in Houston. Horrible offensive line, his starting running back is out for the year, a bad defense, and the team drafted Mario Williams ahead of Reggie Bush in April's draft. It will get better, but gradially.
AFC West
1. San Diego Chargers 12-4
2. Denver Broncos 9-7
3. Kansas City Chiefs 6-10
4. Oakland Raiders 4-12
Philip Rivers is going to put up a big season, justifiying the Chargers decision to let Drew Brees leave in free agency. LaDanian Tomlinson is the league MVP, Antonio Gates is the leagues best tight end, and the Chargers posses the West's best defense. All the makings for a division championship and deep playoff run.
Jake Plummer scares me, and more importantly and team quarterbacked by Jake Plummer and coached by Mike Shannahan won't go far in the playoffs. I know what you're going to say, and yes I know Shannahan won two Super Bowls in Denver, but what has he done without John Elway or Terrell Davis besides underachieve and or get eliminted early in the playoffs. Look for that trend to continue this year.
The Chiefs are vastly overrated. Larry Johnson, Trent Green, Tony Gonzalez and........who? The O-line is no longer as dominant as it was, the defense still isn't any good, and Green and Gonzalez have already got a lot of mileage on their bodys. I just don't see this offense being effective and that was the only thing that made them even a mediocre team in years past.
The Raiders are bad. Probably the worst team in football. Randy Moss wants out, Jeff George will probably be brought back in after week 1. Art Shell is their coach, even though he sucked the first time around. Yup, it's going to be really ugly in Oakland.
AFC Wild Card
Cincinnati over Indianapolis
New England over Denver
AFC Divisional
New England over San Diego
Cincinnati over Pittsburgh
AFC Championship
Cincinnati over New England
Super Bowl
New York Giants over Cincinnati Bengals
1. New England Patriots 11-5
2. Miami Dolphins 9-7
3. Buffalo Bills 7-9
4. New York Jets 5-11
The Patriots are still the class of the division, but there's no longer that aura of invincibility around them. The offense is as good as it's ever been, but the defense has taken some serious hits and has very little depth. They will face some competition from Miami, but the Dolphins aren't there quite yet.
The addition of Duante Culpepper gives them stability at quarterback for the first time since Dan Marino was under the helm, but the offense has very few playmakers surrounding him. The defense seems to have progressively gotten worse since it's run of being an elite unit in the mid 90's. Zach Thomas looks like an old linebacker, and is surrounded by young guys on the outside, and Sam Madison and Pat Surtain are both gone now. The defensive side of the ball is younger and rebuilding, while the offense is more established. Once the defense gets experienced they will challenge New England.
How did Dick Jauron get another job as head coach? Craig Nall left Green Bay in the offseason because he no longer wanted to be a third string quarterback, so he signed with Buffalo where he's the third string quarterback. The offense lost Eric Moulds, and sans Willis McGahee they have no playmakers, the defense is good but not good enough to bail out this anemic offense.
Chad Pennington is returning from a shoulder operation, Curtis Martin may be done, Kevin Mawae left in free agency, and their two best defense players from a year ago (John Abraham and Ty Law) are both gone now. J-E-T-S JETS, JETS, JETS!
AFC North
1. Pittsburgh Steelers 11-5
2. Cincinnati Bengals 11-5
3. Baltimore Ravens 8-8
4. Cleveland Browns 6-10
I will admit, I had the Bengals and Steelers swapped but changed my mind after seeing thursday nights game. The defense still looks very impressive, and the offense looked good enough without Big Ben in there. They have lost more than they upgraded in the offseason, but they're still the defending champs so I'm giving them the benefit of the doubt till someone knocks them off.
Carson Palmer looked great in the preseason and that was really the only question surrounding this team. They have the best offense in the division and the defense gives up big yards but causes turnovers and makes plays.
I really like Steve McNair, but the Ravens really can't expect Steve McNair to be their savior to come in and turn things around. The offense is still very very bad, I have questions about Jamal Lewis, and the recievers don't scare anybody. The defense is still very good, but Ray Lewis and others are starting to get and look old. The window in Baltimore has officially closed. That sound you just heard was Brian Billick searching through the papers looking for new work.
Romeo Crennel has this team headed in the right direction. Charlie Frye, Braylon Edwards and Kellen Winslow are all perennial pro bowlers, and the defense has a nice mixture of young guys and veterans. They still need an offensive line though, and if you're reading this and have played Center before, the Browns are interested.
AFC South
1. Indianapolis Colts 11-5
2. Jacksonville Jaguars 8-8
3. Tennessee Titans 7-9
4. Houston Texans 4-12
Edgerrin James will be a huge loss to this team, he really was their MVP. Whether it was running the ball, catching passes out of the backfield, or picking up the blitz and blocking, James did it all. Now they have to rely on a career backup running back and a rookie to carry the load. The play-action will not be as effective and this offense won't look quite as unstopable anymore.
The Jaguars got lucky a lot last year. They had an easy schedule and won a lot of close games. The schedule is not as easy this year, so they won't be in nearly as many close games, and their best offensive player (Jimmy Smith) abruptly retired in the offseason. Fred Taylor can't stay healthy, Greg Jones tore his ACL in the preseason so he's lost of the year, and Matt Jones and Reggie Williams are Byron Leftwitch's starting recievers. Better hope the defense takes a lot of interceptions and fumble recoveries back for touchdowns.
This team is headed in the right direction and has talented youth on offense in Vince Young, LenDale White, David Givens and Ben Troupe. They just need more time to gel. The defense shouldn't be too bad either, defense is never really a question on any Jeff Fisher coached team. They'll be inconsisten this year, but will be a playoff caliber team again in two years.
Gary Kubiak walked into a mess in Houston. Horrible offensive line, his starting running back is out for the year, a bad defense, and the team drafted Mario Williams ahead of Reggie Bush in April's draft. It will get better, but gradially.
AFC West
1. San Diego Chargers 12-4
2. Denver Broncos 9-7
3. Kansas City Chiefs 6-10
4. Oakland Raiders 4-12
Philip Rivers is going to put up a big season, justifiying the Chargers decision to let Drew Brees leave in free agency. LaDanian Tomlinson is the league MVP, Antonio Gates is the leagues best tight end, and the Chargers posses the West's best defense. All the makings for a division championship and deep playoff run.
Jake Plummer scares me, and more importantly and team quarterbacked by Jake Plummer and coached by Mike Shannahan won't go far in the playoffs. I know what you're going to say, and yes I know Shannahan won two Super Bowls in Denver, but what has he done without John Elway or Terrell Davis besides underachieve and or get eliminted early in the playoffs. Look for that trend to continue this year.
The Chiefs are vastly overrated. Larry Johnson, Trent Green, Tony Gonzalez and........who? The O-line is no longer as dominant as it was, the defense still isn't any good, and Green and Gonzalez have already got a lot of mileage on their bodys. I just don't see this offense being effective and that was the only thing that made them even a mediocre team in years past.
The Raiders are bad. Probably the worst team in football. Randy Moss wants out, Jeff George will probably be brought back in after week 1. Art Shell is their coach, even though he sucked the first time around. Yup, it's going to be really ugly in Oakland.
AFC Wild Card
Cincinnati over Indianapolis
New England over Denver
AFC Divisional
New England over San Diego
Cincinnati over Pittsburgh
AFC Championship
Cincinnati over New England
Super Bowl
New York Giants over Cincinnati Bengals
Friday, September 08, 2006
2006 NFL NFC Predictions
So I'm technically a day late on my predictions here, but oh well. Here they are.
NFC East
1. NY Giants 11-5
2. Dallas Cowboys 10-6
3. Philadelphia Eagles 8-8
4. Washington Redskins 7-9
LaVarr Arrington upgrades the linebacking corp and will be playing with a chip on his shoulder in a division he's all too familiar in. Strahan, Umenyoria and rookie Matthias Kiwaunuka will be one of, if not the best pass rushing trio in the league/
On offense, Eli has the first full starting year under his belt already, Tiki Barber proved himself to be a top 5 running back in the league last year, Shockey is a threat at tight end and Sinorce Moss will help stretch the field.
Dallas is a very good team, but TO is bound to implode sooner or later. I give it four weeks before his first blow up at Bledsoe, plus this team is going to encounter a full blown QB controversy at some point in this season. The running game needs to improve, and other than TO and the extremely frail Terry Glenn, there is little else at reciever.
McNabb is not the quarterback he's been billed to be, but he's also not as bad as what we saw last year. Westbrook is a nice back, but they have no recievers that sacre any defense, and the defense is starting to get old. They benefit from not having Owens around, but they're closer to rebuild than contend.
Washington spent a lot of money again (surprise there) but once again on players they have no need for. They signed Randle El to starters money, but he'll serve as they're third reciever and kick returner, and then traded for Brandon Lloyd. This gives them three recievers under 5'11" and none of them are considered possession guys. Good luck moving the chains fellas. Factor in that Clinton Portis is nursing a separated shoulder already, Mark Brunell is 49 years old, Joe Gibbs is old man crazy, and this team only made the playoffs, let alone finished above .500 last year because of a hot streak, and it makes for a bad year in the nations capitol.
NFC North
1. Chicago Bears 10-6
2. Detroit Lions 8-8
3. Green Bay Packers 7-9
4. Minnesota Vikings 6-10
The Bears bear, no pun intended, a striking resemblence to the Baltimore Ravens of a few years back. The Ravens had no offense other than Matt Stover (Yes, the kicker Matt Stover) and still managed to win games and even a Super Bowl behind their defense. Only problem is the Bears defense isn't quite that good. They need to get some offense. Cut your losses and bench Grossman already. Griese should be the starter and Kyle Orton should be given every shot to win that job. It may not have been pretty but he won games last year. The defense is solid but they'll still need to find a second wideout and a quarterback
The Lions biggest upgrade in the offseason was Mike Martz, well that and the loss of Joey Harrington. Kitna is a vast improvement over Harrington. Roy Williams and Marcus Pollard will be well utilized in Martz's system. They just need defensive help.
The Packers upgraded at virtually every position this offseason, but that still isn't saying much. They're starting two rookie guards and breaking in a new center. That could be a disaster. Greg Jennings looks very impressive, just as much as Javon Walker did in his break out season. Jennings and Driver will provide Favre with two big play targets. Bubba Franks figures to be used a lot in Mike McCarthy's offense, after years of being wasted under Mike Sherman. The real question lies in Ahman Green, can he return to even 80% of what he was before the injury. On defense AJ Hawk was added, Cullen Jenkins continues to improve and Nick Collins is poised for a break out year. The question on defense is Charles Woodson, much like Green, can he return to show signs of his old self?
The Vikings are a bad football team, don't be fooled by a good preseason or all the hype, they're just bad. Brad Johnson, can he hold up? Who's going to run the ball, Chester Taylor? Who are your recievers now that Koren Robinson is gone and Nate Burleson left for Seattle? Their O-Line is solid, so they should have protection, but they have no play makers and very little depth. The defense is half rebuild half over priced veterans, and they lost their best player (Corey Chavous) in the offseason.
NFC South
1. Tampa Bay Buccanneers 12-4
2. Carolina Panthers 10-6
3. New Orleans Saints 7-9
4. Atlanta Falcons 6-10
The Buccaneers are the most complete team in this division. The have the best defense, two good recievers, a promising young quarterback, and a future pro bowl running back. The defense will onceagain be one of the best in the league and Chris Simms is only going to get better.
The Panthers scare me because they're everybodys darlings. Those teams never pan out. Steve Smith is already nursing a hammy, DeShawn Foster never plays in more than 8 games a season, and they don't have the depth on defense that they used to. I do like Jake Delhomme, and I love DeAngelo Williams, but this team won't unseat the Buccaneers.
New Orleans, 7-9? Yes, Reggie Bush will make that much of an impact. Well, Reggie Bush and Drew Brees. The defense is still awful, but the offense now has firepower and will be exciting to watch.
We saw some signs of it in the preseason game against Green Bay, but the Falcons are a bad football team. They're still a one man team, but it appears now that Vick isn't the Superman we all thought he was a few years ago. Warrick Dunn is a very underrated back, but there are no weapons at wideout. Vick, Dunn and Crumpler on offense, that's all they have. The defense has also taken some major steps back since the darling 2004 year they put up.
NFC West
1. St Louis Rams 11-5
2. Seattle Seahawks 9-7
3. Arizona Cardinals 8-8
4. San Francisco 49ers 5-11
I'm fully on board the Rams bandwagon, but moreso the Madden Jinx bandwagon, and the "Super Bowl loser stinks the next season" bandwagon. The Rams have changed philosophy and will commit to the run now, which is bad news for the West because Steven Jackson is the best running back you've barely heard of. They will control the clock with Jackson which will open up big plays for Bruce and Holt and the outside. The defense was also given a face lift this off season with the additions of Corey Chavous, LaRoi Glover and Will Witherspoon. Plus, no more Mike Martz to single handedly lose his team games (I realize I praised the addition for Detroit, but that's Martz as the coordinator, not the guy making all the decisions.)
I'm going off little else than the two explanations above. Alexander and the Madden Curse, and the Super Bowl loser stigma. Plus they lost Hutchinson, Darrell Jackson is hurt, and the defense lost guys, and added no one except for Julian Peterson who may or may not be washed up already.
The Cardinals are everyones sleeper pick, but I don't see it yet. The defense is still awful and the O-line stinks. So what if you have Edge, Fitzgerald and Boldin, if you can't block you can't get those guys the ball.
I like Mike Nolan and he's got this team going in the right direction. The Niners are just going to keep getting better under his control.
NFC WILD CARD
Giants over Bears
Cowboys over Panthers
NFC DIVISIONAL
Giants over Cowboys
Panthers over Rams
NFC CHAMPION
New York Giants
NFC East
1. NY Giants 11-5
2. Dallas Cowboys 10-6
3. Philadelphia Eagles 8-8
4. Washington Redskins 7-9
LaVarr Arrington upgrades the linebacking corp and will be playing with a chip on his shoulder in a division he's all too familiar in. Strahan, Umenyoria and rookie Matthias Kiwaunuka will be one of, if not the best pass rushing trio in the league/
On offense, Eli has the first full starting year under his belt already, Tiki Barber proved himself to be a top 5 running back in the league last year, Shockey is a threat at tight end and Sinorce Moss will help stretch the field.
Dallas is a very good team, but TO is bound to implode sooner or later. I give it four weeks before his first blow up at Bledsoe, plus this team is going to encounter a full blown QB controversy at some point in this season. The running game needs to improve, and other than TO and the extremely frail Terry Glenn, there is little else at reciever.
McNabb is not the quarterback he's been billed to be, but he's also not as bad as what we saw last year. Westbrook is a nice back, but they have no recievers that sacre any defense, and the defense is starting to get old. They benefit from not having Owens around, but they're closer to rebuild than contend.
Washington spent a lot of money again (surprise there) but once again on players they have no need for. They signed Randle El to starters money, but he'll serve as they're third reciever and kick returner, and then traded for Brandon Lloyd. This gives them three recievers under 5'11" and none of them are considered possession guys. Good luck moving the chains fellas. Factor in that Clinton Portis is nursing a separated shoulder already, Mark Brunell is 49 years old, Joe Gibbs is old man crazy, and this team only made the playoffs, let alone finished above .500 last year because of a hot streak, and it makes for a bad year in the nations capitol.
NFC North
1. Chicago Bears 10-6
2. Detroit Lions 8-8
3. Green Bay Packers 7-9
4. Minnesota Vikings 6-10
The Bears bear, no pun intended, a striking resemblence to the Baltimore Ravens of a few years back. The Ravens had no offense other than Matt Stover (Yes, the kicker Matt Stover) and still managed to win games and even a Super Bowl behind their defense. Only problem is the Bears defense isn't quite that good. They need to get some offense. Cut your losses and bench Grossman already. Griese should be the starter and Kyle Orton should be given every shot to win that job. It may not have been pretty but he won games last year. The defense is solid but they'll still need to find a second wideout and a quarterback
The Lions biggest upgrade in the offseason was Mike Martz, well that and the loss of Joey Harrington. Kitna is a vast improvement over Harrington. Roy Williams and Marcus Pollard will be well utilized in Martz's system. They just need defensive help.
The Packers upgraded at virtually every position this offseason, but that still isn't saying much. They're starting two rookie guards and breaking in a new center. That could be a disaster. Greg Jennings looks very impressive, just as much as Javon Walker did in his break out season. Jennings and Driver will provide Favre with two big play targets. Bubba Franks figures to be used a lot in Mike McCarthy's offense, after years of being wasted under Mike Sherman. The real question lies in Ahman Green, can he return to even 80% of what he was before the injury. On defense AJ Hawk was added, Cullen Jenkins continues to improve and Nick Collins is poised for a break out year. The question on defense is Charles Woodson, much like Green, can he return to show signs of his old self?
The Vikings are a bad football team, don't be fooled by a good preseason or all the hype, they're just bad. Brad Johnson, can he hold up? Who's going to run the ball, Chester Taylor? Who are your recievers now that Koren Robinson is gone and Nate Burleson left for Seattle? Their O-Line is solid, so they should have protection, but they have no play makers and very little depth. The defense is half rebuild half over priced veterans, and they lost their best player (Corey Chavous) in the offseason.
NFC South
1. Tampa Bay Buccanneers 12-4
2. Carolina Panthers 10-6
3. New Orleans Saints 7-9
4. Atlanta Falcons 6-10
The Buccaneers are the most complete team in this division. The have the best defense, two good recievers, a promising young quarterback, and a future pro bowl running back. The defense will onceagain be one of the best in the league and Chris Simms is only going to get better.
The Panthers scare me because they're everybodys darlings. Those teams never pan out. Steve Smith is already nursing a hammy, DeShawn Foster never plays in more than 8 games a season, and they don't have the depth on defense that they used to. I do like Jake Delhomme, and I love DeAngelo Williams, but this team won't unseat the Buccaneers.
New Orleans, 7-9? Yes, Reggie Bush will make that much of an impact. Well, Reggie Bush and Drew Brees. The defense is still awful, but the offense now has firepower and will be exciting to watch.
We saw some signs of it in the preseason game against Green Bay, but the Falcons are a bad football team. They're still a one man team, but it appears now that Vick isn't the Superman we all thought he was a few years ago. Warrick Dunn is a very underrated back, but there are no weapons at wideout. Vick, Dunn and Crumpler on offense, that's all they have. The defense has also taken some major steps back since the darling 2004 year they put up.
NFC West
1. St Louis Rams 11-5
2. Seattle Seahawks 9-7
3. Arizona Cardinals 8-8
4. San Francisco 49ers 5-11
I'm fully on board the Rams bandwagon, but moreso the Madden Jinx bandwagon, and the "Super Bowl loser stinks the next season" bandwagon. The Rams have changed philosophy and will commit to the run now, which is bad news for the West because Steven Jackson is the best running back you've barely heard of. They will control the clock with Jackson which will open up big plays for Bruce and Holt and the outside. The defense was also given a face lift this off season with the additions of Corey Chavous, LaRoi Glover and Will Witherspoon. Plus, no more Mike Martz to single handedly lose his team games (I realize I praised the addition for Detroit, but that's Martz as the coordinator, not the guy making all the decisions.)
I'm going off little else than the two explanations above. Alexander and the Madden Curse, and the Super Bowl loser stigma. Plus they lost Hutchinson, Darrell Jackson is hurt, and the defense lost guys, and added no one except for Julian Peterson who may or may not be washed up already.
The Cardinals are everyones sleeper pick, but I don't see it yet. The defense is still awful and the O-line stinks. So what if you have Edge, Fitzgerald and Boldin, if you can't block you can't get those guys the ball.
I like Mike Nolan and he's got this team going in the right direction. The Niners are just going to keep getting better under his control.
NFC WILD CARD
Giants over Bears
Cowboys over Panthers
NFC DIVISIONAL
Giants over Cowboys
Panthers over Rams
NFC CHAMPION
New York Giants
Sunday, September 03, 2006
It's Time Ned, It's Time
The Brewers have been a major disappointment this year. A good deal of that has been in large part due to injuries, some of it has been the result of a team having far too high expectations placed on them by their city, but a lot of that has been because of one man. Ned Yost.
Yost is arguably the worst manager in baseball. The mistakes that he makes, on a routine basis, are those you'd expect to see from a first year manager. This is Yost's fourth year under the helm and he was supposed to be the pupil of one of the best managers in the game (Bobby Cox) so how is it that he is so bad?
Not every aspect of Ned as a manager is bad. He has done a great job of changing the attitude of the team since he arrived and the atmosphere in the clubhouse, and he is very loyal to his guys and will stick up for his players to the umpires. But this is also where part of the bad lies.
His loyalty. He is loyal to a fault. Derrick Turnbow, Brady Clark, Geoff Jenkins, all guys who have seen extenisve playing time this year despite the fact that their play has not warranted it. You could argue that Jenkins total offensive drop off and lack of production has killed this offense. Yet Yost had no problem keeping him his everyday right fielder up until the middle of August, and even when the change was made Jenkins is still seeing a lot of at bats. Why? He's a .250 hitter who isn't even going to hit 15 home runs this year, stikes out a lot, and he was supposed to be your second best option for power on this team.
Meanwhile guys like Gabe Gross and Corey Hart have done nothing but produce when called upon as a pinch hitter or reserve roles, but they're still delegated to the bench.
Derrick Turnbow, the worst relief pitcher in baseball since July, has been given every opportunity to be the closer on this team. Even when these struggles were routinely costing this team game after game, Ned still went to him every game. I can understand letting a player work through struggles, but not when it is costing your team wins. Even when Turnbow was replaced as the closer, it lasted for all of two games before Ned went back to him.
Wouldn't you want a guy you just demoted to prove to you that he has fixed what his problems were before trusting him in such a key role again? Apparently not. Turnbow only made one appearance between his demotion from closer and promotion back into the role. How did he prove that you can rely on him again in just one appearance and two games removed from the role? The results were exactly what you would expect, he continued to cost them games.
This team has enough problems on it's own, they don't need thier own manager to sabbatoge them and do everything in his power to take wins away.
This team has so many problems scoring runs and more importantly, manufacturing runs. I can't tell you how many times I've seen a leadoff double get wasted by that runner not scoring. Why doesn't this team sacrafice bunt more you ask? Good question, well according to Ned it's because they're not very good at it. What?! Isn't that your job to make them good at it and work with them on it? If sacrafice bunting is such a problem, why aren't you spending three hours a day in batting practice working on laying down bunts? What have you been doing since February?! They're not very good at it? Are you kidding me?
Remember when Brady Clark was a regular player? Remember when Ned would green light him to steal bases whenever on base? Remember Brady getting thrown out every time? Me too. Brady Clark is the worst base runner in the history of baseball, so why then is he always given the go to steal, especially in instances when you have guys like Carlos Lee, Bill Hall and Prince Fielder at the plate? Why?
Why was Rick Helling, a reliever on this team mind you, placed in the starting rotation upon his return from the disabled list, bumping a promising young rookie in doing so? Remember that?
Helling was on the DL with arm and shoulder problems and meanwhile Carlos Villanueva was starting games and looked very promising turning in good starts each time he took the mound. Helling, the teams long reliever, returned from the disabled list and was named the fifth starter making Villanueva the long reliever. Why? Villanueva is a young promising arm who figures to be in your rotation next year, why risk stunting his growth at the benefit of a bullpen arm in his mid thirties who may or may not be on this team next year?
The most discouraging thing is that all of these problems were there four years ago, and have occured routinely during the span of his tenure. He has shown no signs of progression. If anything he's regressed.
Now that this team is more than 10 games below .500, it's time. It's time that Anthony Gwynn Jr and Carlos Villanueva are recalled from AAA. It's time Geoff Jenkins and Kevin Mench are given little to no more at bats for the rest of the season. It's time we see Gwynn, Hart and Nix as your regular starting outfielders for the duration of the season. It's time to see Vinny Rottino tried out at third, and catcher to see if he can handle either position. It's time we stop setting left handed hitters because lefties are pitching. It's time to start bunting and attempting to manufacture runs.
It's time we see all of this and more for the next month, but I have no doubt hardly any of these demands will be met. For these reasons, Ned Yost must go.
Yost is arguably the worst manager in baseball. The mistakes that he makes, on a routine basis, are those you'd expect to see from a first year manager. This is Yost's fourth year under the helm and he was supposed to be the pupil of one of the best managers in the game (Bobby Cox) so how is it that he is so bad?
Not every aspect of Ned as a manager is bad. He has done a great job of changing the attitude of the team since he arrived and the atmosphere in the clubhouse, and he is very loyal to his guys and will stick up for his players to the umpires. But this is also where part of the bad lies.
His loyalty. He is loyal to a fault. Derrick Turnbow, Brady Clark, Geoff Jenkins, all guys who have seen extenisve playing time this year despite the fact that their play has not warranted it. You could argue that Jenkins total offensive drop off and lack of production has killed this offense. Yet Yost had no problem keeping him his everyday right fielder up until the middle of August, and even when the change was made Jenkins is still seeing a lot of at bats. Why? He's a .250 hitter who isn't even going to hit 15 home runs this year, stikes out a lot, and he was supposed to be your second best option for power on this team.
Meanwhile guys like Gabe Gross and Corey Hart have done nothing but produce when called upon as a pinch hitter or reserve roles, but they're still delegated to the bench.
Derrick Turnbow, the worst relief pitcher in baseball since July, has been given every opportunity to be the closer on this team. Even when these struggles were routinely costing this team game after game, Ned still went to him every game. I can understand letting a player work through struggles, but not when it is costing your team wins. Even when Turnbow was replaced as the closer, it lasted for all of two games before Ned went back to him.
Wouldn't you want a guy you just demoted to prove to you that he has fixed what his problems were before trusting him in such a key role again? Apparently not. Turnbow only made one appearance between his demotion from closer and promotion back into the role. How did he prove that you can rely on him again in just one appearance and two games removed from the role? The results were exactly what you would expect, he continued to cost them games.
This team has enough problems on it's own, they don't need thier own manager to sabbatoge them and do everything in his power to take wins away.
This team has so many problems scoring runs and more importantly, manufacturing runs. I can't tell you how many times I've seen a leadoff double get wasted by that runner not scoring. Why doesn't this team sacrafice bunt more you ask? Good question, well according to Ned it's because they're not very good at it. What?! Isn't that your job to make them good at it and work with them on it? If sacrafice bunting is such a problem, why aren't you spending three hours a day in batting practice working on laying down bunts? What have you been doing since February?! They're not very good at it? Are you kidding me?
Remember when Brady Clark was a regular player? Remember when Ned would green light him to steal bases whenever on base? Remember Brady getting thrown out every time? Me too. Brady Clark is the worst base runner in the history of baseball, so why then is he always given the go to steal, especially in instances when you have guys like Carlos Lee, Bill Hall and Prince Fielder at the plate? Why?
Why was Rick Helling, a reliever on this team mind you, placed in the starting rotation upon his return from the disabled list, bumping a promising young rookie in doing so? Remember that?
Helling was on the DL with arm and shoulder problems and meanwhile Carlos Villanueva was starting games and looked very promising turning in good starts each time he took the mound. Helling, the teams long reliever, returned from the disabled list and was named the fifth starter making Villanueva the long reliever. Why? Villanueva is a young promising arm who figures to be in your rotation next year, why risk stunting his growth at the benefit of a bullpen arm in his mid thirties who may or may not be on this team next year?
The most discouraging thing is that all of these problems were there four years ago, and have occured routinely during the span of his tenure. He has shown no signs of progression. If anything he's regressed.
Now that this team is more than 10 games below .500, it's time. It's time that Anthony Gwynn Jr and Carlos Villanueva are recalled from AAA. It's time Geoff Jenkins and Kevin Mench are given little to no more at bats for the rest of the season. It's time we see Gwynn, Hart and Nix as your regular starting outfielders for the duration of the season. It's time to see Vinny Rottino tried out at third, and catcher to see if he can handle either position. It's time we stop setting left handed hitters because lefties are pitching. It's time to start bunting and attempting to manufacture runs.
It's time we see all of this and more for the next month, but I have no doubt hardly any of these demands will be met. For these reasons, Ned Yost must go.
Friday, April 21, 2006
The OC Friday Morning Hangover: The Brown'pisode
Oh Mr. Schwartz, how bored and lonely you must be. You came up with the ingenius plan of having Seth dupe everyone, save for Mr. Fists of Fury, into thinking he's Ivy League material. This is a larger lie than a former UW-L baseball coach saying he's, "clean and sober." But more on Kiki later. The Seth thing was annoying right off the bat, now it's borderline comical. I'm fairly certain he's the first high school kid in the history of America to fly from coast-to-coast to try to salvage 5 minutes of a geek dean's time, pleading to be let into Brown. After a conversation with my colleague JG last evening, we discussed that with three episodes left, there are a lot of loose ends still to be tied up, but it's really growing on us how Schwartz is taking this 'green' thing way to far and recycling all his old story lines. But first, let me proudly proclaim, I'M BACK!
But I'm back for all the wrong reasons. I used to loathe the idea of Schwartz pilfering ideas from me, now I'm throwing him a bone for the sake of my favorite show and favorite television couple in history. If any half-assed OC fan has paid attention to the most valuable source for OC poop (high school girls.....insert your Platta dig here please) you have clearly heard of the two biggest rumors surrounding the end of season three:
1. Sandy dies of a heart attack
2. Summer gets pregnant
JG and I have already vowed that if Schwartz kills off the Sandman, we're out. Maybe I'll read some other kids blog about the show, but season four with no Sanford? No thanks. That's going too far Josh, you know, we all know it. Besides, you'll have noticed in my lead paragraph that I already hit on recycled story lines and that's a good thing because never before have we witnessed the top dog at the Newport Group pass away.
As for the Summer getting knocked up story line? Please, didn't we do this with Ryan and Thersea in season one? Sure, kids in high school get pregnant with "oops" babies these days, nearly everyone knows of somebody...but not every...single...person. But I guess, why not right? I'm eagerly looking forward to next season when Taylor gets knocked up by some French dude. And why stop there? Let's revisit some other stories. Bring Jimmy back and have him bankrupt some folk. Make Dr. Robert's gay. Have Sandy try to build the new hospital on the Balboa Wetlands (that would actually be pretty funny come to think of it.)
And we're supposed to believe that the baby isn't Ryans? Please. I saw the close up head shot of the kid in my OC Insider email. I'm no Hollywood insider either, but I'm guessing that producers usually don't cast a kid just for him to not have any significance at all.
Short and sweet this week folks. But I pose this closing question to you. Will Schwartz have this alledged 'most shocking finale in the history of TV' be another bittersweet/sad ending just like seasons uno and duece? Seems to be the theme around OC central.
QUESTIONS FROM THE COUCH:
1. Is Berkeley and Brown paying for product placement?
2. Did I miss something with Atomic County suddenly being front and center again?
3. What's the first thing a parent whose child is accepted to college says? "Let's see your letter honey."
4. What is Nate Filzen doing these days?
5. How many proms does Harbor High get?
But I'm back for all the wrong reasons. I used to loathe the idea of Schwartz pilfering ideas from me, now I'm throwing him a bone for the sake of my favorite show and favorite television couple in history. If any half-assed OC fan has paid attention to the most valuable source for OC poop (high school girls.....insert your Platta dig here please) you have clearly heard of the two biggest rumors surrounding the end of season three:
1. Sandy dies of a heart attack
2. Summer gets pregnant
JG and I have already vowed that if Schwartz kills off the Sandman, we're out. Maybe I'll read some other kids blog about the show, but season four with no Sanford? No thanks. That's going too far Josh, you know, we all know it. Besides, you'll have noticed in my lead paragraph that I already hit on recycled story lines and that's a good thing because never before have we witnessed the top dog at the Newport Group pass away.
As for the Summer getting knocked up story line? Please, didn't we do this with Ryan and Thersea in season one? Sure, kids in high school get pregnant with "oops" babies these days, nearly everyone knows of somebody...but not every...single...person. But I guess, why not right? I'm eagerly looking forward to next season when Taylor gets knocked up by some French dude. And why stop there? Let's revisit some other stories. Bring Jimmy back and have him bankrupt some folk. Make Dr. Robert's gay. Have Sandy try to build the new hospital on the Balboa Wetlands (that would actually be pretty funny come to think of it.)
And we're supposed to believe that the baby isn't Ryans? Please. I saw the close up head shot of the kid in my OC Insider email. I'm no Hollywood insider either, but I'm guessing that producers usually don't cast a kid just for him to not have any significance at all.
Short and sweet this week folks. But I pose this closing question to you. Will Schwartz have this alledged 'most shocking finale in the history of TV' be another bittersweet/sad ending just like seasons uno and duece? Seems to be the theme around OC central.
QUESTIONS FROM THE COUCH:
1. Is Berkeley and Brown paying for product placement?
2. Did I miss something with Atomic County suddenly being front and center again?
3. What's the first thing a parent whose child is accepted to college says? "Let's see your letter honey."
4. What is Nate Filzen doing these days?
5. How many proms does Harbor High get?
Thursday, February 02, 2006
The OC Friday Morning Hangover: The Adios Johnny'pisode
If you take one thing away from this here blog today it is: don't see the movie about the babysitter and the creep who keeps calling and gets the kids. I already forgot its name it looks that bad. Well Johnny died! Or did he? The episode was appropriately titled "The Cliffhanger" in ode to having to wait a week to find out if Johnny got 86'd by tequila or if he simply broke his other leg. C'mon Jonathan, everyone knows tequila's a fightin' booze. Had you romanced the 15-year-old by the fire with some rum ala Jack Sparrow, all would be well. But you're dead! Or at least that's what we're hoping. For the one person who reads this that was a fan of Johnny and wants to see him "act" again, tune into the made for TV movie that CBS will advertise during the NCAA Tournament. It worked wonders for Shannon Lucio in "Shark Attack" last year. Allright then, aspirin? Check. Bloody? Check. 2K6 Salary Spreadsheet? Not published yet.
Dr. Roberts fell for Julie Cooper-Nicol-Cooper-Roberts anyway. DEAR MR. SCHWARTZ, IT'S SO EFFING OBVIOUS YOU'RE GOING TO USE THE NAME I JUST WROTE LATER THIS SEASON, IT'S NOT EVEN FUNNY YOU D'BAG. God Bless the scene of Julie in her oversive glasses and shall. Hi-larious, watching her be at an utter loss for words. And more importantly, Summer and Marissa get to be sisters! Hoo-Rah! And going with little fanfare, was the fact that Kirsten's plan worked after all.
I'm setting the over-under on weeks until Kirsten re-takes over the Newport Group at four. There, I said it Schwartz. Prove me wrong. You already had Seth toke up you tough guy.
Seth continues to pass the dutchie to the left hand side whilst rocking out to The Cure, or whatever band that was. And because of his blue screen gazing, Summer knows he's a young Sandy in the wings. Nothing a little pink bra can't fix next week. Could Seth and Summer be hitting their first true rocky spot of season three? Who knows, but I hope next time Seth is merrily toking his J-Bird under his windowsill, I hope he's just jamming out to Sean Paul "We be burnin'."
If Johnny had one thing going for him that I tip my hat to, it's that I don't think I've ever met a dude who can just up and profess his love to the princess of his respected city like it was no big deal. That'd be like senior year of HS Filzen, just marching up to the Queen of the WB and professing his love to Duke, Alabama, the Yankees, Green Bay, the Cubs, the Celtics, her, West Salem and whoever is favored to win the Lingerie Bowl...in that order. Highly unlikely, he's probably more prone to receive over two dollars worth of text messages from me, JG and another random number. Wait, my copy editor is handing me a piece of paper, opps, I guess that did happen. Those editor/fact checkers are tightening up these days thank you very much James Frey.
Before I peace out here, was the last five minutes as crazy and batshit crazy as it was billed? Did anybody doubt a hammered Johnny was going for a spill? I'm out, Pittsburgh by 17.
QUESTIONS FROM THE COUCH:
1. A 15 year old girl has several pulls of tequila and we're supposed to believe she's sober?
2. All those concerts those kids go to at the Bait Shop and they seriously don't know what a guy who was just smoking weed smells like? Nice slip up Schwartz. Ba-Zing!
3. What does Marissa do to all these poor Newport Beach guys? Oliver, Johnny? She's going to be on the FBI watch list soon, not that the entire nation isn't already.
4. If I jumped off a cliff everytime a girl "just wanted to be friends," pretty sure I would never have known the simple pleasure of TNST.
5. Will Kaitlyn's character be 86'd now that Johnny is (hopefully) gone?
DRIVIN' DOWN THE 101:
I believe, and I could use that fact checker again here, that the last time Julie was all done up in her shall and big'ums glasses was in episode one of season three, when she entered the hospital, black mailing Trey.
IF YOU BELIEVE THEY PUT A MAN ON THE MOON
...you can believe (sigh) that Johnny is alive.
...you can believe Kaitlyn will continue to try to wreack havoc on Marissa and Ryan.
...you can believe Sandy will teach his son how to properly roll a fattie!
Dr. Roberts fell for Julie Cooper-Nicol-Cooper-Roberts anyway. DEAR MR. SCHWARTZ, IT'S SO EFFING OBVIOUS YOU'RE GOING TO USE THE NAME I JUST WROTE LATER THIS SEASON, IT'S NOT EVEN FUNNY YOU D'BAG. God Bless the scene of Julie in her oversive glasses and shall. Hi-larious, watching her be at an utter loss for words. And more importantly, Summer and Marissa get to be sisters! Hoo-Rah! And going with little fanfare, was the fact that Kirsten's plan worked after all.
I'm setting the over-under on weeks until Kirsten re-takes over the Newport Group at four. There, I said it Schwartz. Prove me wrong. You already had Seth toke up you tough guy.
Seth continues to pass the dutchie to the left hand side whilst rocking out to The Cure, or whatever band that was. And because of his blue screen gazing, Summer knows he's a young Sandy in the wings. Nothing a little pink bra can't fix next week. Could Seth and Summer be hitting their first true rocky spot of season three? Who knows, but I hope next time Seth is merrily toking his J-Bird under his windowsill, I hope he's just jamming out to Sean Paul "We be burnin'."
If Johnny had one thing going for him that I tip my hat to, it's that I don't think I've ever met a dude who can just up and profess his love to the princess of his respected city like it was no big deal. That'd be like senior year of HS Filzen, just marching up to the Queen of the WB and professing his love to Duke, Alabama, the Yankees, Green Bay, the Cubs, the Celtics, her, West Salem and whoever is favored to win the Lingerie Bowl...in that order. Highly unlikely, he's probably more prone to receive over two dollars worth of text messages from me, JG and another random number. Wait, my copy editor is handing me a piece of paper, opps, I guess that did happen. Those editor/fact checkers are tightening up these days thank you very much James Frey.
Before I peace out here, was the last five minutes as crazy and batshit crazy as it was billed? Did anybody doubt a hammered Johnny was going for a spill? I'm out, Pittsburgh by 17.
QUESTIONS FROM THE COUCH:
1. A 15 year old girl has several pulls of tequila and we're supposed to believe she's sober?
2. All those concerts those kids go to at the Bait Shop and they seriously don't know what a guy who was just smoking weed smells like? Nice slip up Schwartz. Ba-Zing!
3. What does Marissa do to all these poor Newport Beach guys? Oliver, Johnny? She's going to be on the FBI watch list soon, not that the entire nation isn't already.
4. If I jumped off a cliff everytime a girl "just wanted to be friends," pretty sure I would never have known the simple pleasure of TNST.
5. Will Kaitlyn's character be 86'd now that Johnny is (hopefully) gone?
DRIVIN' DOWN THE 101:
I believe, and I could use that fact checker again here, that the last time Julie was all done up in her shall and big'ums glasses was in episode one of season three, when she entered the hospital, black mailing Trey.
IF YOU BELIEVE THEY PUT A MAN ON THE MOON
...you can believe (sigh) that Johnny is alive.
...you can believe Kaitlyn will continue to try to wreack havoc on Marissa and Ryan.
...you can believe Sandy will teach his son how to properly roll a fattie!
Thursday, January 26, 2006
The OC Friday Morning Hangover: The Tough Guy'pisode
You wanna play hard ball Schwartz? Fine. You got me on that low and away slider when I was looking for that high cut fastball. Because of your constant pilfering of this blogs ideas with no posted comments at least saying, "Hey California's great, peace, Schwartz," I'm taking a hiatus from the Hangover. For the record your next episode is bound to blow.
"I'm 17, you're 14."
Seth tokes up, just to show us that you have the moxie to make him do it.
I'm out.
"I'm 17, you're 14."
Seth tokes up, just to show us that you have the moxie to make him do it.
I'm out.
Thursday, January 19, 2006
The OC Friday Morning Hangover: The Kaitlyn Cooper'pisode
Great, now they're digging for ways to keep Johnny around. Terrific. As I've stated before, I've somehow morphed into more of an OC beat writer than posting about sports. Deal with it. It's better than posting stupid survey's on myspace all day long Filzen. But first I'd like to congratulate JG on his last post, for other reason than it was the 100th post in Brew City Beat history. It hasn't always been easy, but it feels good to be back on top. I'll save you any cheesy hangover references because I'm pretty sure that's what Saturday morning will be best served by this week. So yeah, Kaitlyn Cooper's back and Dr. Roberts has genital warts. Outstanding.
After teasing everyone before last weeks episode that Kaitlyn was returning, Schwartz, whom is reading this over a cup of coffee at the current time, decided to sandbag and hold off on the impending doom that is mini-Cooper until last night. She's a crook, a liar, a flirt and more, so basically she and The OC go together like Matkon and the 2K6 Salary Spreadsheet. Kaitlyn is alledegly 14, claims to be 16 and is most likely being cast by a 23 year old. And the kicker is she has a thing for Johnny Deadbeat. Was it just me or was that the oddest ending in OC history? I couldn't have been alone in wondering if the assumedably 18 year old Johnny was going to have a nude soak with the 14 year old Kaitlyn. Hot damn, that says OC don't it? But no dice, they rolled the credits.
I personally like bringing Kaitlyn back and so must the writers and directors because not a whole lot else happened besides Veronica Townsend and Dr. Roberts hitting it off only to have every main character plot against her to keep her away from Summer's pop. Hey JG...does Seth, Summer, Kirsten and Sandy scheming against the elder Townsend count as the official start of the JLA OC? Kirsten felt bad for setting up Veronica and the Dr. because Julie has 'fallen' for him. Huh, that's weird. I realize I'm recycling the phrase, but Dr. you best holla we want pre nup.
I must say this, after a phone call from fellow BCB'er JG, is Schwartz just rehashing his crazy idea's from seasons past? Johnny loves Marissa, Marissa is none too available so he goes for Marissa's sister. Season one we saw Luke date Marissa and swipe her V'chip in the process, then go for her mom. Good thinking Schwartz. I wonder if he's been drinking? Or maybe not drinking enough! Regardless, I'm beginning to believe that Marissa is bucking the crap out of the odds for not being in a looney tune bin for having to go through all she has in three short seasons.
I'll keep it short this week folks, and you keep it real.
QUESTIONS FROM THE COUCH
1. Did Britney Spears really live in a trailer house?
2. Would Sandy really give a flying effe if Seth toked up once in his life? He was the legend at UC-Berkely.
3. How many weeks till Jimmy Cooper, crook-in-chief returns to wreak havoc on his family and the pocketbooks of the wealthy?
4. Was Kaitlyn's skirt in the shot of her and Marissa walking on the pier the shortest in OC history?
5. What actually did happen to Kaitlyn's pony? I mean, that pony was a big reason her parents got divorced.
DRIVIN' DOWN THE 101
The Bait Shop is back! But please see above for the Luke-Julie/Johnny-Kaitlyn reference. Thanks, thanks for reading.
IF YOU BELIEVE THEY PUT A MAN ON THE MOON...
...Seth will NOT smoke up
...Ryan will NOT leave Marissa over this Johnny/Kaitlyn, Marissa is jealous thinger.
...Julie and Neil will NOT get married.
Peace, time to Fest.
After teasing everyone before last weeks episode that Kaitlyn was returning, Schwartz, whom is reading this over a cup of coffee at the current time, decided to sandbag and hold off on the impending doom that is mini-Cooper until last night. She's a crook, a liar, a flirt and more, so basically she and The OC go together like Matkon and the 2K6 Salary Spreadsheet. Kaitlyn is alledegly 14, claims to be 16 and is most likely being cast by a 23 year old. And the kicker is she has a thing for Johnny Deadbeat. Was it just me or was that the oddest ending in OC history? I couldn't have been alone in wondering if the assumedably 18 year old Johnny was going to have a nude soak with the 14 year old Kaitlyn. Hot damn, that says OC don't it? But no dice, they rolled the credits.
I personally like bringing Kaitlyn back and so must the writers and directors because not a whole lot else happened besides Veronica Townsend and Dr. Roberts hitting it off only to have every main character plot against her to keep her away from Summer's pop. Hey JG...does Seth, Summer, Kirsten and Sandy scheming against the elder Townsend count as the official start of the JLA OC? Kirsten felt bad for setting up Veronica and the Dr. because Julie has 'fallen' for him. Huh, that's weird. I realize I'm recycling the phrase, but Dr. you best holla we want pre nup.
I must say this, after a phone call from fellow BCB'er JG, is Schwartz just rehashing his crazy idea's from seasons past? Johnny loves Marissa, Marissa is none too available so he goes for Marissa's sister. Season one we saw Luke date Marissa and swipe her V'chip in the process, then go for her mom. Good thinking Schwartz. I wonder if he's been drinking? Or maybe not drinking enough! Regardless, I'm beginning to believe that Marissa is bucking the crap out of the odds for not being in a looney tune bin for having to go through all she has in three short seasons.
I'll keep it short this week folks, and you keep it real.
QUESTIONS FROM THE COUCH
1. Did Britney Spears really live in a trailer house?
2. Would Sandy really give a flying effe if Seth toked up once in his life? He was the legend at UC-Berkely.
3. How many weeks till Jimmy Cooper, crook-in-chief returns to wreak havoc on his family and the pocketbooks of the wealthy?
4. Was Kaitlyn's skirt in the shot of her and Marissa walking on the pier the shortest in OC history?
5. What actually did happen to Kaitlyn's pony? I mean, that pony was a big reason her parents got divorced.
DRIVIN' DOWN THE 101
The Bait Shop is back! But please see above for the Luke-Julie/Johnny-Kaitlyn reference. Thanks, thanks for reading.
IF YOU BELIEVE THEY PUT A MAN ON THE MOON...
...Seth will NOT smoke up
...Ryan will NOT leave Marissa over this Johnny/Kaitlyn, Marissa is jealous thinger.
...Julie and Neil will NOT get married.
Peace, time to Fest.
Wednesday, January 11, 2006
Thompson, Franchise at a Cross-Roads: Part 1 of 2
So how do you run a Hall of Famer out of town?
Well you can start by riding the team of one of his closer friends, and backup quarterback Doug Pederson.
Next you could do the same with two of his best protectors and men who keep him upright.
You could then assemble a team lacking any depth, in one in serious trouble if injuries should occur.
Perhaps you could remain silent during a much heated hold out by your second best player, and insist to remain silent even when your superstar quarterback interjects himself in the debate and subsequently takes heat.
But the last straw, fire his companion, man he trusts, man he respects, and head coach.
While Ted Thompson has verbally stressed he wants Brett Favre to return to Green Bay for a sixteenth season, the moves he has made would suggest otherwise.
Thompson knows there is no way he can tell Brett Favre he would rather him retire than comeback and survive in the state. So he's communicating it to him non-verbally. It is Thompson's plan to rebuild, and rebuilding ususally doesn't involve a veteran quarterback when you have a talented first round pick on the bench. Nor does it include paying that quarterback over $10 million when you may not even be a competitive team.
So Thompson puts up the facade, doing everything he can to tell Brett Favre he wants him back, but then making moves that would suggest the complete opposite.
I don't think anyone privy to the financial situation this team was in would blame him for not retaining either Rivera or Whale. It simply could not be done. The real head scratcher was the addition of lifetime injury-prone under-performing guard/tackle Adrian Klemm. And Klemm didn't come so inexpensive.
In fairness to Thompson, he did a lot of good things in his first year as GM. For starters he took the team from "cap hell" to good shape in just one offseason.
He released high priced, and overrated veteran saftey Darren Sharper and replaced him with a very good looking Nick Collins.
He appeared to have found two very good young players in the draft in Terrance Murphy and Brady Poppinga, that was before injuries ended their seasons.
Samkon Gado was a nice looking pickup, and looks like he may be a very good backup or even starter in this league. And Donald Lee looked like a capable tight end in spots.
I was really indifferent on Thompson's first season under the helm. I thought he did both some good and some bad, but I thought the good out-weighed the bad. That was until the morning of January 2.
On January 2, I was awaken to a phone call. I woke up and checked the voice mail left by a fellow college and friend. Upon hearing the news left on my phone, I instantly felt cheated and lied to.
"Hey JG, Sherman's gone. Thompson's holding a press conference at 10:30 to announce the firing."
And with that, the Mike Sherman era ended. Interestingly enough, the same day the Barry Alvarez era was over.
Well you can start by riding the team of one of his closer friends, and backup quarterback Doug Pederson.
Next you could do the same with two of his best protectors and men who keep him upright.
You could then assemble a team lacking any depth, in one in serious trouble if injuries should occur.
Perhaps you could remain silent during a much heated hold out by your second best player, and insist to remain silent even when your superstar quarterback interjects himself in the debate and subsequently takes heat.
But the last straw, fire his companion, man he trusts, man he respects, and head coach.
While Ted Thompson has verbally stressed he wants Brett Favre to return to Green Bay for a sixteenth season, the moves he has made would suggest otherwise.
Thompson knows there is no way he can tell Brett Favre he would rather him retire than comeback and survive in the state. So he's communicating it to him non-verbally. It is Thompson's plan to rebuild, and rebuilding ususally doesn't involve a veteran quarterback when you have a talented first round pick on the bench. Nor does it include paying that quarterback over $10 million when you may not even be a competitive team.
So Thompson puts up the facade, doing everything he can to tell Brett Favre he wants him back, but then making moves that would suggest the complete opposite.
I don't think anyone privy to the financial situation this team was in would blame him for not retaining either Rivera or Whale. It simply could not be done. The real head scratcher was the addition of lifetime injury-prone under-performing guard/tackle Adrian Klemm. And Klemm didn't come so inexpensive.
In fairness to Thompson, he did a lot of good things in his first year as GM. For starters he took the team from "cap hell" to good shape in just one offseason.
He released high priced, and overrated veteran saftey Darren Sharper and replaced him with a very good looking Nick Collins.
He appeared to have found two very good young players in the draft in Terrance Murphy and Brady Poppinga, that was before injuries ended their seasons.
Samkon Gado was a nice looking pickup, and looks like he may be a very good backup or even starter in this league. And Donald Lee looked like a capable tight end in spots.
I was really indifferent on Thompson's first season under the helm. I thought he did both some good and some bad, but I thought the good out-weighed the bad. That was until the morning of January 2.
On January 2, I was awaken to a phone call. I woke up and checked the voice mail left by a fellow college and friend. Upon hearing the news left on my phone, I instantly felt cheated and lied to.
"Hey JG, Sherman's gone. Thompson's holding a press conference at 10:30 to announce the firing."
And with that, the Mike Sherman era ended. Interestingly enough, the same day the Barry Alvarez era was over.
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