The OC Friday Morning Hangover: Harbor School'pisode

CRUE! CRUE! CRUE! That was for you JG. I think I can proclaim that I have my finger on the pulse of The OC and I've first now discovered what it needs: more Motley Crue references. Which by the way...what was Seth doing with The Dirt? He likes indie rock, not the baddest, most wickedly cool rock band of all time. But, I like it. Well played Seth. We're glad to have you. I hope Kirsten likes reading about how Vince was with Pam long before Tommy was as much as I did. We all knew Marissa was getting tossed from Harbor, but we did not know about Ryan until last night. But did any of you think for a second that he wasn't going down in a blaze of glory to defend her honor? Yeah, me neither. We were introduced to two new characters this week and although I highly doubted it, but they've casted a worst actor than Lindsay from Season Two in the mold of the tough and rough Dean of Discipline. On to that pounding headache we all have.

I'm going to stay on the topic of this new Dean jo-jo. I say with the utmost confidence that he has not been laid since at least 1965. Seriously, run this scene that you didn't see aired through your head, going on at the same time as the Kickoff Carnival.

Dean: I'm heading out honey.
Wifey: But honey, it's getting late, where are you going? Come to bed.
Dean: There's this former social chair of the Harbor School who I kicked out because she saved her boyfriends life, and, stop traffic babe, IS AT THE CARNIVAL WHICH ISN'T ON SCHOOL GROUNDS!!!
Wifey: I won't be up waiting for you...again.

Man did I want to see Ryan tear that guy apart, or have Marissa shoot him. Think about it...hilarious. There was another scene that I thought should have been aired after the episode ended, but that didn't happen either. The Dean says to Ryan and Marissa, "If I see either of you near Harbor ever, I'm calling the Police." Enter a Ryan quote that should have had him saying, "Why? So Sandy can make you look like a fool for even trying?" Seriously Dean, if you're cast as the token gay guy I get it, but holy man.

We also saw Jimmy Cooper demonstrate that he simply doesn't believe in living in the black ink. Everyone's favorite filch is at it again. For a minute there I thought I dosed off and it was season one. But at least he proposed to Julie again so she can officially become Julie Cooper-Nicol-Cooper. I sniffed that one out bygones ago, back in the land before time when JG wasn't a grumpus.

It seems as though Seth and Summer have decided to quit their constant bickering from years past as they seem like a normal, happy duet at this point. The best scene in the episode being when Summer was describing her list of why the carnival she molded bettered the other (new character) carnival, turbo-bitch Taylor's, and Summer says, "I'm not done yet, we have a third, right Cohen?" And her snuggly boyfriend gets all amped up, "yeah, yeah we do!" Poetic justice.

And that brings us to the seasons creepy character number one, Charlotte. From the looks of it, she thinks every night is actually Thursday because she's an alcoholic who has some vendetta against Kirsten living happily ever after. She's leading Kirsten on to think that, quote, "She's been around this track," but it ain't supposed to happen like that. Man, this shit is Bananas.

I also liked how Summer went from not knowing anything concerning "the real world" when around Zach's family last season to bashing Karl Rove for entire episode. It's great. Schwartz you genius. I'll bet Gaddis was pissed.

So that's that folks. We know that to replace vilians Luke and Caleb from seasons past, we now have the Dean, Charlotte and Taylor. Personally, I hope the Dean follows Calebs lead and dies. So will Marissa and Ryan finally consumate their feelings for each other next week by humping in a port-o-john looking thing on the beach? Time will tell and although this show lacked any Bloc Party tunes, the closing acoustic version of "California" was a nice touch and Season Three is a resounding two-for-two so far.

"I'm the one they call Dr. Feelgood, I'm the one that makes you feel allright....." That's called a callback.

QUESTIONS FROM THE COUCH:
1. Is the Yacht Club that Jimmy is always slumming in this seasons' Bait Shop?

2. Is Marissa paying rent to that lifeguard stand on the beach?

3. Did anyone else want to take their XBox to the ocean and plug in after that Mountain Dew commerical aired?

4. Will Ryan morph back to bad boy from Chino?

5. How many times did a character say "hey" in the episode?

6. After prominently featuring The Motley Crue's book which will shortly be a movie for those of you keeping score at home, will Schwartz cast one of the bad boys on the show next?

DRIVIN' DOWN THE 101:
The last Motley Crue reference came when Julie explained to Marissa that her past including some dabbling in the lesbian pool involved a little Motley Crue and a lot of Jager.

Season Three just completed the hat trick of the Kickoff Carnival.

IF YOU BELIEVE THEY PUT A MAN ON THE MOON...
...You can believe Charlotte is a lesbian and is all about Kirsten Cohen

...You can believe Charlotte is Kirsten's twin sister

...You can believe that Seth is next up to butt heads with the Dean

...One of the main characters will wind up dating Taylor

...After Ryan humps Marissa, Theresa will re-enter the show on cue