Thursday, November 02, 2006

The OC Friday Morning Hangover: The Punisher'pisode

That LeBron James commercial made me want to put on my finest suit and completely disregard my impeccable do by doing some circus dive into a pool while a younger, more athletic me logged some miles via a running pool workout. But enough about the commercial and more about the episode that is most likely the final season premier in OC history. Season 4 started off with some acid-trip like glimpse into the life of post Marissa Ryan Atwood and Julie Cooper Nicol Cooper Roberts. But there's much to talk about since I haven't posted an OC wrap-up in what seems over a year. But The Hangover's back! Honestly, did it really ever go anywhere? My friend Jimmy's bloody stand would suggest otherwise.

Everybody shout this next line at the top of your lungs: SHENANIGANS! There, perhaps Schwartz heard that out on the west coast. He is my most loyal reader who is to big time to ever post a response. Yes Mr. Schwartz, Shenanigans on this whole Seth/Summer disconnect thing right out of the chute. Your show is pitted against CSI and Grey's Anatomy, you're not breaking up S/S just quite yet. Might it happen before season's end? Perhaps. But that's in May and it's currently November. Marissa's already dead, you can't put the show in the hands of Luke Ward's brother just quite yet. That being said, I like the obvious scenes of S/S clearly not being what they used to be. Lost in the shuffle of Julie becoming a resident of Arkum Asylum and Atwood morphing into the Punisher is the fact that Summer Roberts was Coop's best friend. It is of my belief that all things Newport make it tough for her to come to grips with the fact that Marissa is indeed gone, putting her in the "denial" state of coping, which is easier for her since she's taken up residency in Rhode Island. But long live S/S.

As predicted in May of 2006, Ryan is set to become the Punisher. He is honing his skills in the same cage the Scorpions used for the "Rock you like a hurricane" music video. Ok, that's a lie. But apparently his coping device was getting the snot whiped out of him by biker dudes as a way to toughen up. But seeing the comic book recap of his life and how he touched the lives of so many made him realize that he should come home to the pool house and then seek and destroy Volchok.

The other stories going on are this, in no particular order or importance:
-Kaitlyn Cooper is having menage a trois's with Luke Ward's younger brother and wears the big "I want to get laid" boots.
-Dr. Roberts is two timing Julie, who isn't all there, with his ex-wife, the stepmonster.
-Taylor Townsend removed herself or got kicked out of Paris in no less than two months.

I like the overall direction they're going in S4 of the OC. It has an obvious different tone and feel to it, which, quite frankly, needed to be done. When the main character of the show dies and everyone else is done with high school, changes had to be made and one of my best acquaintances that doesn't talk to me, Schwartz, seems to have stepped up. I'll warn you though, The OC dominates the first four episodes to start a season, blasts out a dousy for Christmakuh, one more for the February sweeps, two or three to end the season, but can come up short for the other 17. so hold your breath. I am.

QUESTIONS FROM THE COUCH
1. Does Ryan really need to prepare himself for his showdown with Volchok by cage fighting in seedy underground pummeling clubs? According to my calculations, Ryan smoked him in the face the first time they met, scared the beans off him by threatening to beat his brains in with a bottle the second time and whupped up on him so bad the third time he nearly killed him. Uh, I think he can handle him already.
2. Why does Ryan Atwood keep getting free passes? He's had life gift wrapped for him since meeting the Sandman and somehow or another finds ways to resort to his old ways.
3. Who will JamesOn Cooper bankrupt next?
4. Did the San Francisco Giants allocate more dollars to their outfielders not named Barroid Bonds or their bullpen in 2006?
5. Is Newport really destined to sink in just 10 more years? That'd be pretty funny seeing as I live in the Midwest. My Johnson Creek becoming a booming metropolis theory might be right on track!
6. Could Summer really "jam on the didge" after only a few months on campus? That's a tough instrument to get down pat.
7. What state don't I give a damn for?

DRIVING DOWN THE 101
The history book gets bigger and bigger each year this show stays on the air. I'll go with a 'first' this time around. It's the first time we ever saw the oft mentioned but here to date never seen, "Stepmonster."

How 'bout one more first for y'all. Seeing the new opening credits and not having Mischa Barton there?

IF YOU BELIEVE THEY PUT A MAN ON THE MOON...
...you'll believe Summer doesn't stay at Brown. If for nothing else, if she's gone hippie this quickly, it won't be able to contain her. Maybe she'll have to transfer to gee, I don't know, Berkeley?
...you'll believe Steve-O will antique someone next 'pisode.
...you'll believe this: Taylor Townsend-Ryan Atwood.

Sunday, September 10, 2006

2006 NFL AFC Predictions

AFC East

1. New England Patriots 11-5
2. Miami Dolphins 9-7
3. Buffalo Bills 7-9
4. New York Jets 5-11

The Patriots are still the class of the division, but there's no longer that aura of invincibility around them. The offense is as good as it's ever been, but the defense has taken some serious hits and has very little depth. They will face some competition from Miami, but the Dolphins aren't there quite yet.

The addition of Duante Culpepper gives them stability at quarterback for the first time since Dan Marino was under the helm, but the offense has very few playmakers surrounding him. The defense seems to have progressively gotten worse since it's run of being an elite unit in the mid 90's. Zach Thomas looks like an old linebacker, and is surrounded by young guys on the outside, and Sam Madison and Pat Surtain are both gone now. The defensive side of the ball is younger and rebuilding, while the offense is more established. Once the defense gets experienced they will challenge New England.

How did Dick Jauron get another job as head coach? Craig Nall left Green Bay in the offseason because he no longer wanted to be a third string quarterback, so he signed with Buffalo where he's the third string quarterback. The offense lost Eric Moulds, and sans Willis McGahee they have no playmakers, the defense is good but not good enough to bail out this anemic offense.

Chad Pennington is returning from a shoulder operation, Curtis Martin may be done, Kevin Mawae left in free agency, and their two best defense players from a year ago (John Abraham and Ty Law) are both gone now. J-E-T-S JETS, JETS, JETS!

AFC North

1. Pittsburgh Steelers 11-5
2. Cincinnati Bengals 11-5
3. Baltimore Ravens 8-8
4. Cleveland Browns 6-10

I will admit, I had the Bengals and Steelers swapped but changed my mind after seeing thursday nights game. The defense still looks very impressive, and the offense looked good enough without Big Ben in there. They have lost more than they upgraded in the offseason, but they're still the defending champs so I'm giving them the benefit of the doubt till someone knocks them off.

Carson Palmer looked great in the preseason and that was really the only question surrounding this team. They have the best offense in the division and the defense gives up big yards but causes turnovers and makes plays.

I really like Steve McNair, but the Ravens really can't expect Steve McNair to be their savior to come in and turn things around. The offense is still very very bad, I have questions about Jamal Lewis, and the recievers don't scare anybody. The defense is still very good, but Ray Lewis and others are starting to get and look old. The window in Baltimore has officially closed. That sound you just heard was Brian Billick searching through the papers looking for new work.

Romeo Crennel has this team headed in the right direction. Charlie Frye, Braylon Edwards and Kellen Winslow are all perennial pro bowlers, and the defense has a nice mixture of young guys and veterans. They still need an offensive line though, and if you're reading this and have played Center before, the Browns are interested.

AFC South

1. Indianapolis Colts 11-5
2. Jacksonville Jaguars 8-8
3. Tennessee Titans 7-9
4. Houston Texans 4-12

Edgerrin James will be a huge loss to this team, he really was their MVP. Whether it was running the ball, catching passes out of the backfield, or picking up the blitz and blocking, James did it all. Now they have to rely on a career backup running back and a rookie to carry the load. The play-action will not be as effective and this offense won't look quite as unstopable anymore.

The Jaguars got lucky a lot last year. They had an easy schedule and won a lot of close games. The schedule is not as easy this year, so they won't be in nearly as many close games, and their best offensive player (Jimmy Smith) abruptly retired in the offseason. Fred Taylor can't stay healthy, Greg Jones tore his ACL in the preseason so he's lost of the year, and Matt Jones and Reggie Williams are Byron Leftwitch's starting recievers. Better hope the defense takes a lot of interceptions and fumble recoveries back for touchdowns.

This team is headed in the right direction and has talented youth on offense in Vince Young, LenDale White, David Givens and Ben Troupe. They just need more time to gel. The defense shouldn't be too bad either, defense is never really a question on any Jeff Fisher coached team. They'll be inconsisten this year, but will be a playoff caliber team again in two years.

Gary Kubiak walked into a mess in Houston. Horrible offensive line, his starting running back is out for the year, a bad defense, and the team drafted Mario Williams ahead of Reggie Bush in April's draft. It will get better, but gradially.

AFC West

1. San Diego Chargers 12-4
2. Denver Broncos 9-7
3. Kansas City Chiefs 6-10
4. Oakland Raiders 4-12

Philip Rivers is going to put up a big season, justifiying the Chargers decision to let Drew Brees leave in free agency. LaDanian Tomlinson is the league MVP, Antonio Gates is the leagues best tight end, and the Chargers posses the West's best defense. All the makings for a division championship and deep playoff run.

Jake Plummer scares me, and more importantly and team quarterbacked by Jake Plummer and coached by Mike Shannahan won't go far in the playoffs. I know what you're going to say, and yes I know Shannahan won two Super Bowls in Denver, but what has he done without John Elway or Terrell Davis besides underachieve and or get eliminted early in the playoffs. Look for that trend to continue this year.

The Chiefs are vastly overrated. Larry Johnson, Trent Green, Tony Gonzalez and........who? The O-line is no longer as dominant as it was, the defense still isn't any good, and Green and Gonzalez have already got a lot of mileage on their bodys. I just don't see this offense being effective and that was the only thing that made them even a mediocre team in years past.

The Raiders are bad. Probably the worst team in football. Randy Moss wants out, Jeff George will probably be brought back in after week 1. Art Shell is their coach, even though he sucked the first time around. Yup, it's going to be really ugly in Oakland.

AFC Wild Card

Cincinnati over Indianapolis
New England over Denver

AFC Divisional

New England over San Diego
Cincinnati over Pittsburgh

AFC Championship

Cincinnati over New England



Super Bowl

New York Giants over Cincinnati Bengals

Friday, September 08, 2006

2006 NFL NFC Predictions

So I'm technically a day late on my predictions here, but oh well. Here they are.

NFC East

1. NY Giants 11-5
2. Dallas Cowboys 10-6
3. Philadelphia Eagles 8-8
4. Washington Redskins 7-9

LaVarr Arrington upgrades the linebacking corp and will be playing with a chip on his shoulder in a division he's all too familiar in. Strahan, Umenyoria and rookie Matthias Kiwaunuka will be one of, if not the best pass rushing trio in the league/

On offense, Eli has the first full starting year under his belt already, Tiki Barber proved himself to be a top 5 running back in the league last year, Shockey is a threat at tight end and Sinorce Moss will help stretch the field.

Dallas is a very good team, but TO is bound to implode sooner or later. I give it four weeks before his first blow up at Bledsoe, plus this team is going to encounter a full blown QB controversy at some point in this season. The running game needs to improve, and other than TO and the extremely frail Terry Glenn, there is little else at reciever.

McNabb is not the quarterback he's been billed to be, but he's also not as bad as what we saw last year. Westbrook is a nice back, but they have no recievers that sacre any defense, and the defense is starting to get old. They benefit from not having Owens around, but they're closer to rebuild than contend.

Washington spent a lot of money again (surprise there) but once again on players they have no need for. They signed Randle El to starters money, but he'll serve as they're third reciever and kick returner, and then traded for Brandon Lloyd. This gives them three recievers under 5'11" and none of them are considered possession guys. Good luck moving the chains fellas. Factor in that Clinton Portis is nursing a separated shoulder already, Mark Brunell is 49 years old, Joe Gibbs is old man crazy, and this team only made the playoffs, let alone finished above .500 last year because of a hot streak, and it makes for a bad year in the nations capitol.


NFC North


1. Chicago Bears 10-6
2. Detroit Lions 8-8
3. Green Bay Packers 7-9
4. Minnesota Vikings 6-10

The Bears bear, no pun intended, a striking resemblence to the Baltimore Ravens of a few years back. The Ravens had no offense other than Matt Stover (Yes, the kicker Matt Stover) and still managed to win games and even a Super Bowl behind their defense. Only problem is the Bears defense isn't quite that good. They need to get some offense. Cut your losses and bench Grossman already. Griese should be the starter and Kyle Orton should be given every shot to win that job. It may not have been pretty but he won games last year. The defense is solid but they'll still need to find a second wideout and a quarterback

The Lions biggest upgrade in the offseason was Mike Martz, well that and the loss of Joey Harrington. Kitna is a vast improvement over Harrington. Roy Williams and Marcus Pollard will be well utilized in Martz's system. They just need defensive help.

The Packers upgraded at virtually every position this offseason, but that still isn't saying much. They're starting two rookie guards and breaking in a new center. That could be a disaster. Greg Jennings looks very impressive, just as much as Javon Walker did in his break out season. Jennings and Driver will provide Favre with two big play targets. Bubba Franks figures to be used a lot in Mike McCarthy's offense, after years of being wasted under Mike Sherman. The real question lies in Ahman Green, can he return to even 80% of what he was before the injury. On defense AJ Hawk was added, Cullen Jenkins continues to improve and Nick Collins is poised for a break out year. The question on defense is Charles Woodson, much like Green, can he return to show signs of his old self?

The Vikings are a bad football team, don't be fooled by a good preseason or all the hype, they're just bad. Brad Johnson, can he hold up? Who's going to run the ball, Chester Taylor? Who are your recievers now that Koren Robinson is gone and Nate Burleson left for Seattle? Their O-Line is solid, so they should have protection, but they have no play makers and very little depth. The defense is half rebuild half over priced veterans, and they lost their best player (Corey Chavous) in the offseason.

NFC South

1. Tampa Bay Buccanneers 12-4
2. Carolina Panthers 10-6
3. New Orleans Saints 7-9
4. Atlanta Falcons 6-10

The Buccaneers are the most complete team in this division. The have the best defense, two good recievers, a promising young quarterback, and a future pro bowl running back. The defense will onceagain be one of the best in the league and Chris Simms is only going to get better.

The Panthers scare me because they're everybodys darlings. Those teams never pan out. Steve Smith is already nursing a hammy, DeShawn Foster never plays in more than 8 games a season, and they don't have the depth on defense that they used to. I do like Jake Delhomme, and I love DeAngelo Williams, but this team won't unseat the Buccaneers.

New Orleans, 7-9? Yes, Reggie Bush will make that much of an impact. Well, Reggie Bush and Drew Brees. The defense is still awful, but the offense now has firepower and will be exciting to watch.

We saw some signs of it in the preseason game against Green Bay, but the Falcons are a bad football team. They're still a one man team, but it appears now that Vick isn't the Superman we all thought he was a few years ago. Warrick Dunn is a very underrated back, but there are no weapons at wideout. Vick, Dunn and Crumpler on offense, that's all they have. The defense has also taken some major steps back since the darling 2004 year they put up.

NFC West

1. St Louis Rams 11-5
2. Seattle Seahawks 9-7
3. Arizona Cardinals 8-8
4. San Francisco 49ers 5-11

I'm fully on board the Rams bandwagon, but moreso the Madden Jinx bandwagon, and the "Super Bowl loser stinks the next season" bandwagon. The Rams have changed philosophy and will commit to the run now, which is bad news for the West because Steven Jackson is the best running back you've barely heard of. They will control the clock with Jackson which will open up big plays for Bruce and Holt and the outside. The defense was also given a face lift this off season with the additions of Corey Chavous, LaRoi Glover and Will Witherspoon. Plus, no more Mike Martz to single handedly lose his team games (I realize I praised the addition for Detroit, but that's Martz as the coordinator, not the guy making all the decisions.)

I'm going off little else than the two explanations above. Alexander and the Madden Curse, and the Super Bowl loser stigma. Plus they lost Hutchinson, Darrell Jackson is hurt, and the defense lost guys, and added no one except for Julian Peterson who may or may not be washed up already.

The Cardinals are everyones sleeper pick, but I don't see it yet. The defense is still awful and the O-line stinks. So what if you have Edge, Fitzgerald and Boldin, if you can't block you can't get those guys the ball.

I like Mike Nolan and he's got this team going in the right direction. The Niners are just going to keep getting better under his control.

NFC WILD CARD

Giants over Bears
Cowboys over Panthers

NFC DIVISIONAL

Giants over Cowboys
Panthers over Rams

NFC CHAMPION

New York Giants