Ah, the dreaded last episode before a month long hiatus. You know, as the founder of this entry stated, if it weren't for the fact that I enjoy the Major League Baseball postseason, I'd be fighting mad. But alas...
Episode started out kind of slow, we see Taylor attemping to start up a friendship with Summer. Don't believer her Summer, don't believer her, Ahh. Stupid Summer. So long story short, Taylor tells Summer that Cohen could be in trouble with the Dean for stealing the school property and acting alone, Summer comes to his rescue and admits to helping and the Dean strips her of her title as Social Chair. Taylor replaces her. Really, didn't see that coming.
Marissa goes to her new school, and meets a new group of friends. God I hope these kids don't last long. Kinds talk about her behind her back, and one girl asks her if she's going to shoot her. First of all, if she already shot someone why would you want to entice her into shooting another? And secondly, isn't Newport the nicest part of California? I highly doubt the Newport Public School would resemble a high school found in the city of Milwaukee.
Ryan gets blown off by Marissa, twice actually, and so he quasi-spies on her and goes to her new school. He sees her crying and one of her new friends with her. Bad acting alert, Bad acting alert, goes without saying when Marissa's character is in the scene. OK admit it, you all wanted to see the old Ryan Atwood return and see him slug the guy, didn't you? Me too, but he didn't.
Fast forward to the real action, this stuff is boring. Seth and Summer attend the dance, Taylor takes credit for all of it, which pisses of Summer. Fast forward a little bit, little more, STOP. Summer see's Taylor kissing someone in the hall. Who is it? They've gotta tease this right? They won't show us wh.....Oh my god! It's the Dean! Taylor is making out with the Dean!
Let's reset a conversation that took place last Thursday.
Cell Phone rings
ID: Fabos
I answer
We talk about what a good episode it was, and formulate ideas of what might happen.
Me: "I think Taylor and the Dean are going to be involved in some way, like he's not a real Dean, or Taylor's family hired him to bring down our gang of four so Taylor can take over."
Fabos: "Maybe, not a bad idea. I'd like to see a plot like Taylor and the Dean hump."
Me: "Yeah, that would be awesome, even with this show that's not too far fetched."
Taylor and Dean Hess are making out, and we are officially owed Royalties by Josh Schwartz. I want them ASAP. You steal my Jimmy Cooper theory, you refernce things that Fabos mentioned last year, like the volume of music in the bait shop, you call Julie's character Julie Cooper-Nicol-Cooper, a name Fabos has referenced many times, and now you steal our Taylor idea. I'm telling you guys, the Fourhorsemen Super Heel Theory is not too far fetched. Oh it get's better.
Our other major plot turn of the evening sees Charlotte with her man in a seedy hotel. They discuss getting money from Kirsten and Charlotte assures him see has money. We come to find out Charlotte does not have a drinking problem (No Way!) and she has scouted out Kirsten for the purpose of taking money from her. That bitch!
Charlotte approaches Kirsten, has lunch with her and asks he if she want's to be a financial parter with her so she can buy property and turn it into a heaven for recovering alcoholic women. Ok, on a side note, this business is the dumbest idea I've ever heard of.
Kirsten tells her she doesn't have the money, Charlotte bluffs and Kirsten tells her that Caleb left her nothing. She mentions the business and Kirsten tells her it's being liquidated. Well that certainly throws a wrench into the plot.
So there it is, that's what we're left to mull over until November 3 when the OC returns.
QUESTIONS FROM THE COUCH:
1. Why did they expose the relationship between Dean Hess and Taylor already? They could have milked that thing for a good two or three episodes.
2. Who is Dean Hess? Seriously, we know he's not a Dean and he's gotta be a work, what's his story?
3. When will Ryan and Marissa break up again? That answer will give us the answer to question number four.
4. When does Theresa return? Return with Ryan's baby that is.
5. Just an overall question here, how is this Charlotte thing going to end?
ONE MAN'S OPINION:
I said it earlier, and although nothing really would point to it after this episode I steal whole heartedly believe that Marissa's character is leaving the show. Theresa will return and she and Ryan will start a family. A new character will be introduced for Seth to hang with. Jimmy Cooper will return once more, to save the Cohens from the evil Charlotte-Julie Duo. Those are the recent ideas running through my head.
YOU KNOW I COULDN'T LEAVE WITHOUT SOME MORE GLOATING:
We see Charlotte pissed when she finds out Kirsten doesn't have the money she thought she did. We also see Julie Cooper in her new home, the hotel, crying. She needs money, she can't live like this. This is the point where I say to Gaddis, so this is documented, "You know Charlotte and Julie Cooper-Nicol-Cooper are going to team up to get money from Kirsten." He scoffs at it. We then see previews for what's coming in November. Julie Cooper-Nicol-Cooper and Charlotte together and saying, "No one can know about this" or something to that nature. The Loveable Grump strikes again!
Friday, September 30, 2005
Friday, September 23, 2005
The OC Friday Morning Hangover: The Humpin'pisode
Morning all, hope your coffee is extra tasty, helping to soothe the notion that you make Bob Huggins look like he enjoys alcohol responsibly. Let's cut right to the chase this week shalst we?
Dear Mr. Schwartz,
On behalf of myself and all of the faithful readers of this blog and column, please, we beg you, as loyal watchers of the very program you worked so hard to create, GET RID OF DEAN HESS! Now! I'm a huge fan of your show, I watch it every week. In fact, I look forward to it. Please, heed the advice of everyone and make the dean have a fatal boating accident or something along those lines. Not only might he be the most over the top, demented, unintentionally gay character in the history of television, but he's even too fake for The OC, where anything flies.
Did you review his lines before casting him? Here, let me fresh your memory just a tad:
"I know you were responsible for bringing Marissa Cooper to the carnival."
"No, I'm not giving you the pleasure of reuniting with Ryan, you're staying here with me."
"This is your idea of school spirit?"...followed by beliving such a blatant crying episode from Taylor???? (More on this later)
Remember the Oliver debacle? Dean Hess is about 600 times worse. He's reaaaaaaaaaly testing my patience. Not that I'm a cat or anything, but he's reaaaaaaaaly pushing my buttons. Thank you for your time Mr. Schwartz,
Yours in OC watching,
(sign name here)
Now that I got that off me chest, I was none too disapointed to see the "Due to violence and other scenery, parental discretion is advised," before the episode even started. You just know that it was going to be good stuff. Kind of like being 12 and seeing a PG-13 movie. Perhaps the warning was in reference to James Cooper getting blugeoned by the ocean, or maybe it was Ryan and Marissa's romp in the commandeered beach hut that was apparently too much for the youngins to watch in prime time. I'm actually pretty surprised that it took a Midwestern two seasons plus for those two to do the horizontal mambo. And let me tell you I was terrified, just scared out of my mind that the Dean was going to be out on the beach on a mission to find his missing hut. Thankfully, that didn't happen.
Now, I've claimed several times before that J. Schwartz reads the Brew City Beat, but after he has Seth directly mention to Ryan, "you could start a blog, so she has every detail about you," now I'm convinced. Hence why I started this bad boy with an open letter to send to the mastermind of said Orange County, Calif., USA.
Staying on my favorite, no longer a bumbling doofus character for a moment, I really like how he's a toned down guy this season. I've counted at least 14 times the Cohen from years past would have messed up things with Summer since they got back together at the "O. Sea." Not this year. In fact, quite the opposite. He actually looked down the Dean and cooly quipped off the best line of the episode:
Dean: "I'm keeping you here with me."
Seth: "That's kind of creepy."
And he then proceeded to gut an extra month of detention all in the name of protecting Summer from being punished as well for the punishable by death act of taking and returning a prop. Way to be a hard ass dean.
For whatever reason, even though Jimmy has basically done nothing but be a crook throughout the entirety of this show, I still pulled for him. Seeing Marissa and Julie appear as though they had actual feelings for each other was a nice touch too. Poor Jimmy, but who in their right mind would approach Jimmy and be like, "I've got a great idea. You've bankrupted your clients in the past, but awh what the hell, I'll give you another chance." I believe I predicted Jimmy gone by week four, sue me I was one week off.
How will the Coopers manage without Jimmy or Caleb? An interesting scenario to say the least. But before I forget, Kirsten came home! Truthfully, I shouldn't have waited this long to bring it up, but you all watched the show anyway right? Exactly. Look good, feel good. And I look good. It appears that Charlotte is trying to dabble in the identity theft pool and that's cool, maybe she'll end up on the cover of Newsweek. I just hope she doesn't trace my online activities. But nonetheless, a welcome sight it was to see the Cohen household operating at full strength once again.
Let me state that season three is more than picking up the slack for last years. And oh boy do I love it. Check you next week when The OC goes Public School. Could it get any worse than that? Public schools in Newport Beach?
QUESTIONS FROM THE COUCH:
1. How the hell did Seth know who wrote 'South Pacific?"
2. Will Jimmy attend Halloween parties as an OC Frankenstein that bankrupts people?
3. Have we seen the last of Mr. Cooper?
4. Was I the only individual who was thinking that there are public schools conviently located along all major U.S. highways for Marissa and Ryan to attend when Julie was flipping out about her daughter not being able to go to school anywhere?
5. The Moto commercial prominently featuring ?uestlove of the Roots...an instant classic?
6. Is the Dean being paid by Charlotte to wreak havoc on the Cohens?
7. Are we actually supposed to believe those previews of Marissa at a public school? I mean seriously, does Newport Beach not have any public schools and she got hiked to Compton?
8. I couldn't have been the only person hoping for an Alan Dale voice over when Kirsten was reading the letter from him.
DRIVIN' DOWN THE 101:
Julie married Caleb for money, or for the security that money brings. Jimmy came back to Julie because she married Caleb, who died, and he needed money. Turns out when Caleb died, he was broke. Funny how many episodes and plots that wily old guy foiled.
Seth and Summer instantaneously mounted when push came to shove in season one. It took the smooth guy, Ryan, till season three. Huh.
The first time Jimmy and Julie got back together I refered to the Mrs. as Julie Cooper-Nicol-Cooper. Schwartz took till this episode. I'm fully expecting him to "post a comment," this week.
IF YOU BELIEVE THEY PUT A MAN ON THE MOON...
...you can believe that the dean will exit stage left and forever be gone when it is discovered he and Taylor are having relations in a mop closet.
...you can believe Marissa will start to morph into a gun-totin' sniper at the public school.
...you'll buy into the notion that Taylor will try to be the end all of Seth and Summer.
...you can bet Ryan and Marissa will end the season at the Harbor school.
...Charlotte will take Sandy to the edge and back as he tries to save his marriage again.
...you can believe I've added another section below.
FROM THE MIND OF THE LOVABLE GRUMP:
The LG predicted a Jimmy Cooper death. He came oh so close. Eat it Grump. He has also predicted a Charlotte goes nuts for Kirsten scenario, which seems to be on target. One can only imagine what the Lovable Grump is musing right now. (Yes, I realize this section will need a little fine tuning, but give me a week, it'll be just fine.) Out.
Dear Mr. Schwartz,
On behalf of myself and all of the faithful readers of this blog and column, please, we beg you, as loyal watchers of the very program you worked so hard to create, GET RID OF DEAN HESS! Now! I'm a huge fan of your show, I watch it every week. In fact, I look forward to it. Please, heed the advice of everyone and make the dean have a fatal boating accident or something along those lines. Not only might he be the most over the top, demented, unintentionally gay character in the history of television, but he's even too fake for The OC, where anything flies.
Did you review his lines before casting him? Here, let me fresh your memory just a tad:
"I know you were responsible for bringing Marissa Cooper to the carnival."
"No, I'm not giving you the pleasure of reuniting with Ryan, you're staying here with me."
"This is your idea of school spirit?"...followed by beliving such a blatant crying episode from Taylor???? (More on this later)
Remember the Oliver debacle? Dean Hess is about 600 times worse. He's reaaaaaaaaaly testing my patience. Not that I'm a cat or anything, but he's reaaaaaaaaly pushing my buttons. Thank you for your time Mr. Schwartz,
Yours in OC watching,
(sign name here)
Now that I got that off me chest, I was none too disapointed to see the "Due to violence and other scenery, parental discretion is advised," before the episode even started. You just know that it was going to be good stuff. Kind of like being 12 and seeing a PG-13 movie. Perhaps the warning was in reference to James Cooper getting blugeoned by the ocean, or maybe it was Ryan and Marissa's romp in the commandeered beach hut that was apparently too much for the youngins to watch in prime time. I'm actually pretty surprised that it took a Midwestern two seasons plus for those two to do the horizontal mambo. And let me tell you I was terrified, just scared out of my mind that the Dean was going to be out on the beach on a mission to find his missing hut. Thankfully, that didn't happen.
Now, I've claimed several times before that J. Schwartz reads the Brew City Beat, but after he has Seth directly mention to Ryan, "you could start a blog, so she has every detail about you," now I'm convinced. Hence why I started this bad boy with an open letter to send to the mastermind of said Orange County, Calif., USA.
Staying on my favorite, no longer a bumbling doofus character for a moment, I really like how he's a toned down guy this season. I've counted at least 14 times the Cohen from years past would have messed up things with Summer since they got back together at the "O. Sea." Not this year. In fact, quite the opposite. He actually looked down the Dean and cooly quipped off the best line of the episode:
Dean: "I'm keeping you here with me."
Seth: "That's kind of creepy."
And he then proceeded to gut an extra month of detention all in the name of protecting Summer from being punished as well for the punishable by death act of taking and returning a prop. Way to be a hard ass dean.
For whatever reason, even though Jimmy has basically done nothing but be a crook throughout the entirety of this show, I still pulled for him. Seeing Marissa and Julie appear as though they had actual feelings for each other was a nice touch too. Poor Jimmy, but who in their right mind would approach Jimmy and be like, "I've got a great idea. You've bankrupted your clients in the past, but awh what the hell, I'll give you another chance." I believe I predicted Jimmy gone by week four, sue me I was one week off.
How will the Coopers manage without Jimmy or Caleb? An interesting scenario to say the least. But before I forget, Kirsten came home! Truthfully, I shouldn't have waited this long to bring it up, but you all watched the show anyway right? Exactly. Look good, feel good. And I look good. It appears that Charlotte is trying to dabble in the identity theft pool and that's cool, maybe she'll end up on the cover of Newsweek. I just hope she doesn't trace my online activities. But nonetheless, a welcome sight it was to see the Cohen household operating at full strength once again.
Let me state that season three is more than picking up the slack for last years. And oh boy do I love it. Check you next week when The OC goes Public School. Could it get any worse than that? Public schools in Newport Beach?
QUESTIONS FROM THE COUCH:
1. How the hell did Seth know who wrote 'South Pacific?"
2. Will Jimmy attend Halloween parties as an OC Frankenstein that bankrupts people?
3. Have we seen the last of Mr. Cooper?
4. Was I the only individual who was thinking that there are public schools conviently located along all major U.S. highways for Marissa and Ryan to attend when Julie was flipping out about her daughter not being able to go to school anywhere?
5. The Moto commercial prominently featuring ?uestlove of the Roots...an instant classic?
6. Is the Dean being paid by Charlotte to wreak havoc on the Cohens?
7. Are we actually supposed to believe those previews of Marissa at a public school? I mean seriously, does Newport Beach not have any public schools and she got hiked to Compton?
8. I couldn't have been the only person hoping for an Alan Dale voice over when Kirsten was reading the letter from him.
DRIVIN' DOWN THE 101:
Julie married Caleb for money, or for the security that money brings. Jimmy came back to Julie because she married Caleb, who died, and he needed money. Turns out when Caleb died, he was broke. Funny how many episodes and plots that wily old guy foiled.
Seth and Summer instantaneously mounted when push came to shove in season one. It took the smooth guy, Ryan, till season three. Huh.
The first time Jimmy and Julie got back together I refered to the Mrs. as Julie Cooper-Nicol-Cooper. Schwartz took till this episode. I'm fully expecting him to "post a comment," this week.
IF YOU BELIEVE THEY PUT A MAN ON THE MOON...
...you can believe that the dean will exit stage left and forever be gone when it is discovered he and Taylor are having relations in a mop closet.
...you can believe Marissa will start to morph into a gun-totin' sniper at the public school.
...you'll buy into the notion that Taylor will try to be the end all of Seth and Summer.
...you can bet Ryan and Marissa will end the season at the Harbor school.
...Charlotte will take Sandy to the edge and back as he tries to save his marriage again.
...you can believe I've added another section below.
FROM THE MIND OF THE LOVABLE GRUMP:
The LG predicted a Jimmy Cooper death. He came oh so close. Eat it Grump. He has also predicted a Charlotte goes nuts for Kirsten scenario, which seems to be on target. One can only imagine what the Lovable Grump is musing right now. (Yes, I realize this section will need a little fine tuning, but give me a week, it'll be just fine.) Out.
Thursday, September 22, 2005
Almost Hunting Season
We are just 20 days away from the Milwaukee Bucks 2005 exhibition season opener. So, since many "experts" picked this team to win 20 games last season, and before the tremendous offseason they had this year, I thought I'd take a look at our 2005-2006 Milwaukee Bucks.
Losses:
Erik Strickland
Zaza Pachulia
Marcus Fizer
Calvin Booth
Additions:
Bobby Simmons
Andrew Bogut
Charlie Bell
Jiri Welsch
Earvin Johnson
Ersan Ilyasova
Ok, so losing Calvin Booth and Marcus Fizer has no impact on this team what so ever, and while losing a promising young player like Zaza Pachulia is discouraging, let's not forget we've got Andrew Bogut patrolling the paint now, so Zaza really had no place on this team.
Erik Strickland's loss will be a bigger impact than expected on the surface. Strickland did a great job working with youngsters like TJ Ford, and he and Mike James did the same for Mo Williams. He was a great insurance policy to have, he could play both guard positions and a little small forward. Besides that, the guy was the "dorm mircrowave," you know not quite as big as a household version, but put him in when you need to heat it up. Instant offense.
Two additions not mentioned, that I would classify in that category are resigning Michael Redd, and bringing back Toni Kukoc for at least one more season. Let's face it, Redd carried this team last year, and they needed him back, but this year he won't be the only offensive option. Kukoc will do a great job mentoring young Andrew Bogut, a player he models his game after as is.
So what does this leave us with as far as rotations? Keep in mind, this is very early, but basing this off of nothing other than following this team and the NBA since I was 12 here's how I break it down.
Starters
Andrew Bogut
Joe Smith
Bobby Simmons
Michael Redd
TJ Ford
Top Reserves
Gadzuric
Kukoc
Mason
Welsch
Williams
Insurance
Charlie Bell
Earvin Johnson
Not quite sure if Ilyasova will be on the squad or play overseas yet. Speaking of which, what ever happened to Symon Siezchweck? The second round pick in 2003, he was a highly touted Polish player, much like Ilyasova and played overseas the last few years.
I didnt' mention Reece Gaines because I'm really not sure where he stands with this team. He won't play ahead of Jiri Weslch, Mo Williams, TJ Ford, Des Mason, Michael Redd, or Bobby Simmons, and I really think Charlie Bell will be thier new find, much like Damon Jones in 2003.
What I like:
This team can throw so many different fronts at opposting defenses. They can play small ball much like Phoenix had success doing last year, with TJ at the point and Mason, Redd and Simmons on the wings and Bogut manning the middle.
They can go with the conventional lineup like I listed above, they can play a bigger lineup when playing teams with good post play (Any combo Gadzuric, Bogut, Smith, Kukoc, Simmons, Johnson) and they have a lot of depth.
Redd, Mason, Johnson, Gadzuric, and Kukoc all have familiarity with Terry Stotts. This is encouraging because Redd will be the focal point of you offense, Mason is your sixth man, Johnson and Gadzuric will be relied on heavily not only for thier play (in the case of Gadzuric more so than Earvin) but also the help Bogut along, and Kukoc will be relied on to be the "coach on the floor."
What I don't like:
TJ Ford. Is he healthy enough yet? Can he do everything yet? Don't interperet that opening the wrong way, I love TJ and all of the things he brings to this team, when he's there they run on all cylinders and are much harder to defend and much better defensively. The problem is I was certain he would never play again six months ago, now you're telling me not only will he, but he'll be ready come Octocber? I hope so, but we'll see.
The Bucks have drastically improved this offseason, but are still hindered by the fact that their division features Detroit, Indiana, an improving Chicago team and an up and coming Cleveland team. Believe me when I tell you that the Central Division may prove to be the toughest in all of basketball.
Losses:
Erik Strickland
Zaza Pachulia
Marcus Fizer
Calvin Booth
Additions:
Bobby Simmons
Andrew Bogut
Charlie Bell
Jiri Welsch
Earvin Johnson
Ersan Ilyasova
Ok, so losing Calvin Booth and Marcus Fizer has no impact on this team what so ever, and while losing a promising young player like Zaza Pachulia is discouraging, let's not forget we've got Andrew Bogut patrolling the paint now, so Zaza really had no place on this team.
Erik Strickland's loss will be a bigger impact than expected on the surface. Strickland did a great job working with youngsters like TJ Ford, and he and Mike James did the same for Mo Williams. He was a great insurance policy to have, he could play both guard positions and a little small forward. Besides that, the guy was the "dorm mircrowave," you know not quite as big as a household version, but put him in when you need to heat it up. Instant offense.
Two additions not mentioned, that I would classify in that category are resigning Michael Redd, and bringing back Toni Kukoc for at least one more season. Let's face it, Redd carried this team last year, and they needed him back, but this year he won't be the only offensive option. Kukoc will do a great job mentoring young Andrew Bogut, a player he models his game after as is.
So what does this leave us with as far as rotations? Keep in mind, this is very early, but basing this off of nothing other than following this team and the NBA since I was 12 here's how I break it down.
Starters
Andrew Bogut
Joe Smith
Bobby Simmons
Michael Redd
TJ Ford
Top Reserves
Gadzuric
Kukoc
Mason
Welsch
Williams
Insurance
Charlie Bell
Earvin Johnson
Not quite sure if Ilyasova will be on the squad or play overseas yet. Speaking of which, what ever happened to Symon Siezchweck? The second round pick in 2003, he was a highly touted Polish player, much like Ilyasova and played overseas the last few years.
I didnt' mention Reece Gaines because I'm really not sure where he stands with this team. He won't play ahead of Jiri Weslch, Mo Williams, TJ Ford, Des Mason, Michael Redd, or Bobby Simmons, and I really think Charlie Bell will be thier new find, much like Damon Jones in 2003.
What I like:
This team can throw so many different fronts at opposting defenses. They can play small ball much like Phoenix had success doing last year, with TJ at the point and Mason, Redd and Simmons on the wings and Bogut manning the middle.
They can go with the conventional lineup like I listed above, they can play a bigger lineup when playing teams with good post play (Any combo Gadzuric, Bogut, Smith, Kukoc, Simmons, Johnson) and they have a lot of depth.
Redd, Mason, Johnson, Gadzuric, and Kukoc all have familiarity with Terry Stotts. This is encouraging because Redd will be the focal point of you offense, Mason is your sixth man, Johnson and Gadzuric will be relied on heavily not only for thier play (in the case of Gadzuric more so than Earvin) but also the help Bogut along, and Kukoc will be relied on to be the "coach on the floor."
What I don't like:
TJ Ford. Is he healthy enough yet? Can he do everything yet? Don't interperet that opening the wrong way, I love TJ and all of the things he brings to this team, when he's there they run on all cylinders and are much harder to defend and much better defensively. The problem is I was certain he would never play again six months ago, now you're telling me not only will he, but he'll be ready come Octocber? I hope so, but we'll see.
The Bucks have drastically improved this offseason, but are still hindered by the fact that their division features Detroit, Indiana, an improving Chicago team and an up and coming Cleveland team. Believe me when I tell you that the Central Division may prove to be the toughest in all of basketball.
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