Here's a bit of irony in it's highest form for you: Fox, much like tight fisted, frugal Republicans across the country, has conceded victory. In the case of the Republicans, they were getting spanked by Democrats. Fox was getting demoralized by ABC and CBS. But think about, the Fox Network having to resort to retreating just like its party of choice! HIGH-larious! What I mean by all of this is that Fox is moving The OC back to The WED. evenings because it can't compete against the big boppers of prime time TV. So us few OC viewers that still actually care about the program were treated to two new 'pisodes in two days. So forgive me if I neglect to touch on all the key points. At this rate, we'll hit Christmakuh by Thanksgiving and The OC will run its February sweeps episode in late December. Keep your fingers crossed that the show still is being broadcast by February.
The underlying theme and conclusion that we arrived at after two hours of Newport goodness is that Julie, Summer and Ryan have finally officially began the "grieving" phase of Marissa's death. Seth told Summer upon her return to Newport Beach that her kooky behavior is because her best friend passed away. (Note the lack of an OTL line). Volchok came crawling back to Newport after Seth told him Ryan was going to pummel him like Bruce Willis that yellow thing in Sin City, and found safety in the form of Sandy Cohen.
When Ryan caught wind of the Sandman "helping" Volchok he went out to find him, but he should have known he can't out fox the fox himself. Sandy took him straight to Volchok and after Rhino landed a few haymakers to "Kevin's" face, he realized Volchok would let him kill him to be done with everything. So Ryan snaps to and realizes he wants Volchok to have to live with himself for what he did. Out goes the villain in cuffs to the county clink where he will no doubt serve hard time and probably get a tryout with the Cincinnati Bengals upon his release back into society.
Was I happy that Ryan didn't write himself a ticket to prison by killing Volchok? Yes. Was it about as anti-climatic of an ending to Volchok's character imaginable? Indeed. I'll say boldly however, that the scene of Julie showing up to the Cohen's clustereffe of a Thanksgiving dinner after Sandy had slapped a ban on her, was one of the best in OC history. The fact that she apologized, then admitted that she's never meant an apology before was dead on. Only it was bettered by Ryan and Julie sitting in the pool house, and Ryan opened up about the first time he ever laid eyes on Marissa. (Note: I badly wanted them to cut to the scene he was talking about from the Pilot right there). Hands down, in the top five of best OC moments in the books. If you think about the history between the two characters through all the seasons, for them to be next to each other, for the lack of another word, vulnerable, was a tear jerker. (Note 2: I shed not a tear, but I'm guessing 99% of the female viewers did).
My Shenanigans chant from last week, as predicted, hit a bullseye. Summer needs to "get her head screwed back on" before she can fulfill her 10 minutes of time with Cohen in his room.
Some crap may or may not have happened with Taylor getting engaged to some French dude. It's a funny story line for Taylor to have as it was much needed with all the Volchok vibes reverberating through Orange County. Catch you next Friday! I've decided against posting any sort of "Thursday morning headache" stuff...even I need a break from the show time and again.
QUESTIONS FROM THE COUCH
1. How many more episodes until Taylor and Ryan are pushed toward each other?
2. I wonder how JamesOn Cooper is handling the death of his eldest daughter? Probably by efficiently placing someone's money into an awful junk bond.
3. I know they referenced it on the show. But just how gay and lame are they making Luke Ward's younger brothers?
3A. Are those guys like lap dogs? They were always just there whenever Kaitlyn was on screen. Replacing them with a lap dog last episode? Quite humorous.
4. Is The OC the most "left sided" thing Fox has ever aired? You almost have to feel bad for the Republican News Network after last Tuesday. Wait...nope!
5. How much weight did Volchok's chicky friend lose from last season?
DRIVIN DOWN THE 101
The dig on Grey's Anatomy's "Seattle Grace Hospital" was NOT the first time Schwartz has teed up a fellow program. Remember in season duece when he had Seth comment about "The Real Valley" show and how mind numbingly boring it was? First he goes after Laguna Beach, then Grey's.
IF YOU BELIEVE THEY PUT A MAN ON THE MOON...
...you can believe Dr. Roberts will shortly be prominently featured on Grey's Anatomy.
...you can believe Ryan will somehow get into Berkeley yet.
...you can believe the main characters will all wind up at Madison yet.
...you can believe the Christmakuh episode will see....nope, got nothing on that one yet!
Thursday, November 09, 2006
Thursday, November 02, 2006
The OC Friday Morning Hangover: The Punisher'pisode
That LeBron James commercial made me want to put on my finest suit and completely disregard my impeccable do by doing some circus dive into a pool while a younger, more athletic me logged some miles via a running pool workout. But enough about the commercial and more about the episode that is most likely the final season premier in OC history. Season 4 started off with some acid-trip like glimpse into the life of post Marissa Ryan Atwood and Julie Cooper Nicol Cooper Roberts. But there's much to talk about since I haven't posted an OC wrap-up in what seems over a year. But The Hangover's back! Honestly, did it really ever go anywhere? My friend Jimmy's bloody stand would suggest otherwise.
Everybody shout this next line at the top of your lungs: SHENANIGANS! There, perhaps Schwartz heard that out on the west coast. He is my most loyal reader who is to big time to ever post a response. Yes Mr. Schwartz, Shenanigans on this whole Seth/Summer disconnect thing right out of the chute. Your show is pitted against CSI and Grey's Anatomy, you're not breaking up S/S just quite yet. Might it happen before season's end? Perhaps. But that's in May and it's currently November. Marissa's already dead, you can't put the show in the hands of Luke Ward's brother just quite yet. That being said, I like the obvious scenes of S/S clearly not being what they used to be. Lost in the shuffle of Julie becoming a resident of Arkum Asylum and Atwood morphing into the Punisher is the fact that Summer Roberts was Coop's best friend. It is of my belief that all things Newport make it tough for her to come to grips with the fact that Marissa is indeed gone, putting her in the "denial" state of coping, which is easier for her since she's taken up residency in Rhode Island. But long live S/S.
As predicted in May of 2006, Ryan is set to become the Punisher. He is honing his skills in the same cage the Scorpions used for the "Rock you like a hurricane" music video. Ok, that's a lie. But apparently his coping device was getting the snot whiped out of him by biker dudes as a way to toughen up. But seeing the comic book recap of his life and how he touched the lives of so many made him realize that he should come home to the pool house and then seek and destroy Volchok.
The other stories going on are this, in no particular order or importance:
-Kaitlyn Cooper is having menage a trois's with Luke Ward's younger brother and wears the big "I want to get laid" boots.
-Dr. Roberts is two timing Julie, who isn't all there, with his ex-wife, the stepmonster.
-Taylor Townsend removed herself or got kicked out of Paris in no less than two months.
I like the overall direction they're going in S4 of the OC. It has an obvious different tone and feel to it, which, quite frankly, needed to be done. When the main character of the show dies and everyone else is done with high school, changes had to be made and one of my best acquaintances that doesn't talk to me, Schwartz, seems to have stepped up. I'll warn you though, The OC dominates the first four episodes to start a season, blasts out a dousy for Christmakuh, one more for the February sweeps, two or three to end the season, but can come up short for the other 17. so hold your breath. I am.
QUESTIONS FROM THE COUCH
1. Does Ryan really need to prepare himself for his showdown with Volchok by cage fighting in seedy underground pummeling clubs? According to my calculations, Ryan smoked him in the face the first time they met, scared the beans off him by threatening to beat his brains in with a bottle the second time and whupped up on him so bad the third time he nearly killed him. Uh, I think he can handle him already.
2. Why does Ryan Atwood keep getting free passes? He's had life gift wrapped for him since meeting the Sandman and somehow or another finds ways to resort to his old ways.
3. Who will JamesOn Cooper bankrupt next?
4. Did the San Francisco Giants allocate more dollars to their outfielders not named Barroid Bonds or their bullpen in 2006?
5. Is Newport really destined to sink in just 10 more years? That'd be pretty funny seeing as I live in the Midwest. My Johnson Creek becoming a booming metropolis theory might be right on track!
6. Could Summer really "jam on the didge" after only a few months on campus? That's a tough instrument to get down pat.
7. What state don't I give a damn for?
DRIVING DOWN THE 101
The history book gets bigger and bigger each year this show stays on the air. I'll go with a 'first' this time around. It's the first time we ever saw the oft mentioned but here to date never seen, "Stepmonster."
How 'bout one more first for y'all. Seeing the new opening credits and not having Mischa Barton there?
IF YOU BELIEVE THEY PUT A MAN ON THE MOON...
...you'll believe Summer doesn't stay at Brown. If for nothing else, if she's gone hippie this quickly, it won't be able to contain her. Maybe she'll have to transfer to gee, I don't know, Berkeley?
...you'll believe Steve-O will antique someone next 'pisode.
...you'll believe this: Taylor Townsend-Ryan Atwood.
Everybody shout this next line at the top of your lungs: SHENANIGANS! There, perhaps Schwartz heard that out on the west coast. He is my most loyal reader who is to big time to ever post a response. Yes Mr. Schwartz, Shenanigans on this whole Seth/Summer disconnect thing right out of the chute. Your show is pitted against CSI and Grey's Anatomy, you're not breaking up S/S just quite yet. Might it happen before season's end? Perhaps. But that's in May and it's currently November. Marissa's already dead, you can't put the show in the hands of Luke Ward's brother just quite yet. That being said, I like the obvious scenes of S/S clearly not being what they used to be. Lost in the shuffle of Julie becoming a resident of Arkum Asylum and Atwood morphing into the Punisher is the fact that Summer Roberts was Coop's best friend. It is of my belief that all things Newport make it tough for her to come to grips with the fact that Marissa is indeed gone, putting her in the "denial" state of coping, which is easier for her since she's taken up residency in Rhode Island. But long live S/S.
As predicted in May of 2006, Ryan is set to become the Punisher. He is honing his skills in the same cage the Scorpions used for the "Rock you like a hurricane" music video. Ok, that's a lie. But apparently his coping device was getting the snot whiped out of him by biker dudes as a way to toughen up. But seeing the comic book recap of his life and how he touched the lives of so many made him realize that he should come home to the pool house and then seek and destroy Volchok.
The other stories going on are this, in no particular order or importance:
-Kaitlyn Cooper is having menage a trois's with Luke Ward's younger brother and wears the big "I want to get laid" boots.
-Dr. Roberts is two timing Julie, who isn't all there, with his ex-wife, the stepmonster.
-Taylor Townsend removed herself or got kicked out of Paris in no less than two months.
I like the overall direction they're going in S4 of the OC. It has an obvious different tone and feel to it, which, quite frankly, needed to be done. When the main character of the show dies and everyone else is done with high school, changes had to be made and one of my best acquaintances that doesn't talk to me, Schwartz, seems to have stepped up. I'll warn you though, The OC dominates the first four episodes to start a season, blasts out a dousy for Christmakuh, one more for the February sweeps, two or three to end the season, but can come up short for the other 17. so hold your breath. I am.
QUESTIONS FROM THE COUCH
1. Does Ryan really need to prepare himself for his showdown with Volchok by cage fighting in seedy underground pummeling clubs? According to my calculations, Ryan smoked him in the face the first time they met, scared the beans off him by threatening to beat his brains in with a bottle the second time and whupped up on him so bad the third time he nearly killed him. Uh, I think he can handle him already.
2. Why does Ryan Atwood keep getting free passes? He's had life gift wrapped for him since meeting the Sandman and somehow or another finds ways to resort to his old ways.
3. Who will JamesOn Cooper bankrupt next?
4. Did the San Francisco Giants allocate more dollars to their outfielders not named Barroid Bonds or their bullpen in 2006?
5. Is Newport really destined to sink in just 10 more years? That'd be pretty funny seeing as I live in the Midwest. My Johnson Creek becoming a booming metropolis theory might be right on track!
6. Could Summer really "jam on the didge" after only a few months on campus? That's a tough instrument to get down pat.
7. What state don't I give a damn for?
DRIVING DOWN THE 101
The history book gets bigger and bigger each year this show stays on the air. I'll go with a 'first' this time around. It's the first time we ever saw the oft mentioned but here to date never seen, "Stepmonster."
How 'bout one more first for y'all. Seeing the new opening credits and not having Mischa Barton there?
IF YOU BELIEVE THEY PUT A MAN ON THE MOON...
...you'll believe Summer doesn't stay at Brown. If for nothing else, if she's gone hippie this quickly, it won't be able to contain her. Maybe she'll have to transfer to gee, I don't know, Berkeley?
...you'll believe Steve-O will antique someone next 'pisode.
...you'll believe this: Taylor Townsend-Ryan Atwood.
Sunday, September 10, 2006
2006 NFL AFC Predictions
AFC East
1. New England Patriots 11-5
2. Miami Dolphins 9-7
3. Buffalo Bills 7-9
4. New York Jets 5-11
The Patriots are still the class of the division, but there's no longer that aura of invincibility around them. The offense is as good as it's ever been, but the defense has taken some serious hits and has very little depth. They will face some competition from Miami, but the Dolphins aren't there quite yet.
The addition of Duante Culpepper gives them stability at quarterback for the first time since Dan Marino was under the helm, but the offense has very few playmakers surrounding him. The defense seems to have progressively gotten worse since it's run of being an elite unit in the mid 90's. Zach Thomas looks like an old linebacker, and is surrounded by young guys on the outside, and Sam Madison and Pat Surtain are both gone now. The defensive side of the ball is younger and rebuilding, while the offense is more established. Once the defense gets experienced they will challenge New England.
How did Dick Jauron get another job as head coach? Craig Nall left Green Bay in the offseason because he no longer wanted to be a third string quarterback, so he signed with Buffalo where he's the third string quarterback. The offense lost Eric Moulds, and sans Willis McGahee they have no playmakers, the defense is good but not good enough to bail out this anemic offense.
Chad Pennington is returning from a shoulder operation, Curtis Martin may be done, Kevin Mawae left in free agency, and their two best defense players from a year ago (John Abraham and Ty Law) are both gone now. J-E-T-S JETS, JETS, JETS!
AFC North
1. Pittsburgh Steelers 11-5
2. Cincinnati Bengals 11-5
3. Baltimore Ravens 8-8
4. Cleveland Browns 6-10
I will admit, I had the Bengals and Steelers swapped but changed my mind after seeing thursday nights game. The defense still looks very impressive, and the offense looked good enough without Big Ben in there. They have lost more than they upgraded in the offseason, but they're still the defending champs so I'm giving them the benefit of the doubt till someone knocks them off.
Carson Palmer looked great in the preseason and that was really the only question surrounding this team. They have the best offense in the division and the defense gives up big yards but causes turnovers and makes plays.
I really like Steve McNair, but the Ravens really can't expect Steve McNair to be their savior to come in and turn things around. The offense is still very very bad, I have questions about Jamal Lewis, and the recievers don't scare anybody. The defense is still very good, but Ray Lewis and others are starting to get and look old. The window in Baltimore has officially closed. That sound you just heard was Brian Billick searching through the papers looking for new work.
Romeo Crennel has this team headed in the right direction. Charlie Frye, Braylon Edwards and Kellen Winslow are all perennial pro bowlers, and the defense has a nice mixture of young guys and veterans. They still need an offensive line though, and if you're reading this and have played Center before, the Browns are interested.
AFC South
1. Indianapolis Colts 11-5
2. Jacksonville Jaguars 8-8
3. Tennessee Titans 7-9
4. Houston Texans 4-12
Edgerrin James will be a huge loss to this team, he really was their MVP. Whether it was running the ball, catching passes out of the backfield, or picking up the blitz and blocking, James did it all. Now they have to rely on a career backup running back and a rookie to carry the load. The play-action will not be as effective and this offense won't look quite as unstopable anymore.
The Jaguars got lucky a lot last year. They had an easy schedule and won a lot of close games. The schedule is not as easy this year, so they won't be in nearly as many close games, and their best offensive player (Jimmy Smith) abruptly retired in the offseason. Fred Taylor can't stay healthy, Greg Jones tore his ACL in the preseason so he's lost of the year, and Matt Jones and Reggie Williams are Byron Leftwitch's starting recievers. Better hope the defense takes a lot of interceptions and fumble recoveries back for touchdowns.
This team is headed in the right direction and has talented youth on offense in Vince Young, LenDale White, David Givens and Ben Troupe. They just need more time to gel. The defense shouldn't be too bad either, defense is never really a question on any Jeff Fisher coached team. They'll be inconsisten this year, but will be a playoff caliber team again in two years.
Gary Kubiak walked into a mess in Houston. Horrible offensive line, his starting running back is out for the year, a bad defense, and the team drafted Mario Williams ahead of Reggie Bush in April's draft. It will get better, but gradially.
AFC West
1. San Diego Chargers 12-4
2. Denver Broncos 9-7
3. Kansas City Chiefs 6-10
4. Oakland Raiders 4-12
Philip Rivers is going to put up a big season, justifiying the Chargers decision to let Drew Brees leave in free agency. LaDanian Tomlinson is the league MVP, Antonio Gates is the leagues best tight end, and the Chargers posses the West's best defense. All the makings for a division championship and deep playoff run.
Jake Plummer scares me, and more importantly and team quarterbacked by Jake Plummer and coached by Mike Shannahan won't go far in the playoffs. I know what you're going to say, and yes I know Shannahan won two Super Bowls in Denver, but what has he done without John Elway or Terrell Davis besides underachieve and or get eliminted early in the playoffs. Look for that trend to continue this year.
The Chiefs are vastly overrated. Larry Johnson, Trent Green, Tony Gonzalez and........who? The O-line is no longer as dominant as it was, the defense still isn't any good, and Green and Gonzalez have already got a lot of mileage on their bodys. I just don't see this offense being effective and that was the only thing that made them even a mediocre team in years past.
The Raiders are bad. Probably the worst team in football. Randy Moss wants out, Jeff George will probably be brought back in after week 1. Art Shell is their coach, even though he sucked the first time around. Yup, it's going to be really ugly in Oakland.
AFC Wild Card
Cincinnati over Indianapolis
New England over Denver
AFC Divisional
New England over San Diego
Cincinnati over Pittsburgh
AFC Championship
Cincinnati over New England
Super Bowl
New York Giants over Cincinnati Bengals
1. New England Patriots 11-5
2. Miami Dolphins 9-7
3. Buffalo Bills 7-9
4. New York Jets 5-11
The Patriots are still the class of the division, but there's no longer that aura of invincibility around them. The offense is as good as it's ever been, but the defense has taken some serious hits and has very little depth. They will face some competition from Miami, but the Dolphins aren't there quite yet.
The addition of Duante Culpepper gives them stability at quarterback for the first time since Dan Marino was under the helm, but the offense has very few playmakers surrounding him. The defense seems to have progressively gotten worse since it's run of being an elite unit in the mid 90's. Zach Thomas looks like an old linebacker, and is surrounded by young guys on the outside, and Sam Madison and Pat Surtain are both gone now. The defensive side of the ball is younger and rebuilding, while the offense is more established. Once the defense gets experienced they will challenge New England.
How did Dick Jauron get another job as head coach? Craig Nall left Green Bay in the offseason because he no longer wanted to be a third string quarterback, so he signed with Buffalo where he's the third string quarterback. The offense lost Eric Moulds, and sans Willis McGahee they have no playmakers, the defense is good but not good enough to bail out this anemic offense.
Chad Pennington is returning from a shoulder operation, Curtis Martin may be done, Kevin Mawae left in free agency, and their two best defense players from a year ago (John Abraham and Ty Law) are both gone now. J-E-T-S JETS, JETS, JETS!
AFC North
1. Pittsburgh Steelers 11-5
2. Cincinnati Bengals 11-5
3. Baltimore Ravens 8-8
4. Cleveland Browns 6-10
I will admit, I had the Bengals and Steelers swapped but changed my mind after seeing thursday nights game. The defense still looks very impressive, and the offense looked good enough without Big Ben in there. They have lost more than they upgraded in the offseason, but they're still the defending champs so I'm giving them the benefit of the doubt till someone knocks them off.
Carson Palmer looked great in the preseason and that was really the only question surrounding this team. They have the best offense in the division and the defense gives up big yards but causes turnovers and makes plays.
I really like Steve McNair, but the Ravens really can't expect Steve McNair to be their savior to come in and turn things around. The offense is still very very bad, I have questions about Jamal Lewis, and the recievers don't scare anybody. The defense is still very good, but Ray Lewis and others are starting to get and look old. The window in Baltimore has officially closed. That sound you just heard was Brian Billick searching through the papers looking for new work.
Romeo Crennel has this team headed in the right direction. Charlie Frye, Braylon Edwards and Kellen Winslow are all perennial pro bowlers, and the defense has a nice mixture of young guys and veterans. They still need an offensive line though, and if you're reading this and have played Center before, the Browns are interested.
AFC South
1. Indianapolis Colts 11-5
2. Jacksonville Jaguars 8-8
3. Tennessee Titans 7-9
4. Houston Texans 4-12
Edgerrin James will be a huge loss to this team, he really was their MVP. Whether it was running the ball, catching passes out of the backfield, or picking up the blitz and blocking, James did it all. Now they have to rely on a career backup running back and a rookie to carry the load. The play-action will not be as effective and this offense won't look quite as unstopable anymore.
The Jaguars got lucky a lot last year. They had an easy schedule and won a lot of close games. The schedule is not as easy this year, so they won't be in nearly as many close games, and their best offensive player (Jimmy Smith) abruptly retired in the offseason. Fred Taylor can't stay healthy, Greg Jones tore his ACL in the preseason so he's lost of the year, and Matt Jones and Reggie Williams are Byron Leftwitch's starting recievers. Better hope the defense takes a lot of interceptions and fumble recoveries back for touchdowns.
This team is headed in the right direction and has talented youth on offense in Vince Young, LenDale White, David Givens and Ben Troupe. They just need more time to gel. The defense shouldn't be too bad either, defense is never really a question on any Jeff Fisher coached team. They'll be inconsisten this year, but will be a playoff caliber team again in two years.
Gary Kubiak walked into a mess in Houston. Horrible offensive line, his starting running back is out for the year, a bad defense, and the team drafted Mario Williams ahead of Reggie Bush in April's draft. It will get better, but gradially.
AFC West
1. San Diego Chargers 12-4
2. Denver Broncos 9-7
3. Kansas City Chiefs 6-10
4. Oakland Raiders 4-12
Philip Rivers is going to put up a big season, justifiying the Chargers decision to let Drew Brees leave in free agency. LaDanian Tomlinson is the league MVP, Antonio Gates is the leagues best tight end, and the Chargers posses the West's best defense. All the makings for a division championship and deep playoff run.
Jake Plummer scares me, and more importantly and team quarterbacked by Jake Plummer and coached by Mike Shannahan won't go far in the playoffs. I know what you're going to say, and yes I know Shannahan won two Super Bowls in Denver, but what has he done without John Elway or Terrell Davis besides underachieve and or get eliminted early in the playoffs. Look for that trend to continue this year.
The Chiefs are vastly overrated. Larry Johnson, Trent Green, Tony Gonzalez and........who? The O-line is no longer as dominant as it was, the defense still isn't any good, and Green and Gonzalez have already got a lot of mileage on their bodys. I just don't see this offense being effective and that was the only thing that made them even a mediocre team in years past.
The Raiders are bad. Probably the worst team in football. Randy Moss wants out, Jeff George will probably be brought back in after week 1. Art Shell is their coach, even though he sucked the first time around. Yup, it's going to be really ugly in Oakland.
AFC Wild Card
Cincinnati over Indianapolis
New England over Denver
AFC Divisional
New England over San Diego
Cincinnati over Pittsburgh
AFC Championship
Cincinnati over New England
Super Bowl
New York Giants over Cincinnati Bengals
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