CRUE! CRUE! CRUE! That was for you JG. I think I can proclaim that I have my finger on the pulse of The OC and I've first now discovered what it needs: more Motley Crue references. Which by the way...what was Seth doing with The Dirt? He likes indie rock, not the baddest, most wickedly cool rock band of all time. But, I like it. Well played Seth. We're glad to have you. I hope Kirsten likes reading about how Vince was with Pam long before Tommy was as much as I did. We all knew Marissa was getting tossed from Harbor, but we did not know about Ryan until last night. But did any of you think for a second that he wasn't going down in a blaze of glory to defend her honor? Yeah, me neither. We were introduced to two new characters this week and although I highly doubted it, but they've casted a worst actor than Lindsay from Season Two in the mold of the tough and rough Dean of Discipline. On to that pounding headache we all have.
I'm going to stay on the topic of this new Dean jo-jo. I say with the utmost confidence that he has not been laid since at least 1965. Seriously, run this scene that you didn't see aired through your head, going on at the same time as the Kickoff Carnival.
Dean: I'm heading out honey.
Wifey: But honey, it's getting late, where are you going? Come to bed.
Dean: There's this former social chair of the Harbor School who I kicked out because she saved her boyfriends life, and, stop traffic babe, IS AT THE CARNIVAL WHICH ISN'T ON SCHOOL GROUNDS!!!
Wifey: I won't be up waiting for you...again.
Man did I want to see Ryan tear that guy apart, or have Marissa shoot him. Think about it...hilarious. There was another scene that I thought should have been aired after the episode ended, but that didn't happen either. The Dean says to Ryan and Marissa, "If I see either of you near Harbor ever, I'm calling the Police." Enter a Ryan quote that should have had him saying, "Why? So Sandy can make you look like a fool for even trying?" Seriously Dean, if you're cast as the token gay guy I get it, but holy man.
We also saw Jimmy Cooper demonstrate that he simply doesn't believe in living in the black ink. Everyone's favorite filch is at it again. For a minute there I thought I dosed off and it was season one. But at least he proposed to Julie again so she can officially become Julie Cooper-Nicol-Cooper. I sniffed that one out bygones ago, back in the land before time when JG wasn't a grumpus.
It seems as though Seth and Summer have decided to quit their constant bickering from years past as they seem like a normal, happy duet at this point. The best scene in the episode being when Summer was describing her list of why the carnival she molded bettered the other (new character) carnival, turbo-bitch Taylor's, and Summer says, "I'm not done yet, we have a third, right Cohen?" And her snuggly boyfriend gets all amped up, "yeah, yeah we do!" Poetic justice.
And that brings us to the seasons creepy character number one, Charlotte. From the looks of it, she thinks every night is actually Thursday because she's an alcoholic who has some vendetta against Kirsten living happily ever after. She's leading Kirsten on to think that, quote, "She's been around this track," but it ain't supposed to happen like that. Man, this shit is Bananas.
I also liked how Summer went from not knowing anything concerning "the real world" when around Zach's family last season to bashing Karl Rove for entire episode. It's great. Schwartz you genius. I'll bet Gaddis was pissed.
So that's that folks. We know that to replace vilians Luke and Caleb from seasons past, we now have the Dean, Charlotte and Taylor. Personally, I hope the Dean follows Calebs lead and dies. So will Marissa and Ryan finally consumate their feelings for each other next week by humping in a port-o-john looking thing on the beach? Time will tell and although this show lacked any Bloc Party tunes, the closing acoustic version of "California" was a nice touch and Season Three is a resounding two-for-two so far.
"I'm the one they call Dr. Feelgood, I'm the one that makes you feel allright....." That's called a callback.
QUESTIONS FROM THE COUCH:
1. Is the Yacht Club that Jimmy is always slumming in this seasons' Bait Shop?
2. Is Marissa paying rent to that lifeguard stand on the beach?
3. Did anyone else want to take their XBox to the ocean and plug in after that Mountain Dew commerical aired?
4. Will Ryan morph back to bad boy from Chino?
5. How many times did a character say "hey" in the episode?
6. After prominently featuring The Motley Crue's book which will shortly be a movie for those of you keeping score at home, will Schwartz cast one of the bad boys on the show next?
DRIVIN' DOWN THE 101:
The last Motley Crue reference came when Julie explained to Marissa that her past including some dabbling in the lesbian pool involved a little Motley Crue and a lot of Jager.
Season Three just completed the hat trick of the Kickoff Carnival.
IF YOU BELIEVE THEY PUT A MAN ON THE MOON...
...You can believe Charlotte is a lesbian and is all about Kirsten Cohen
...You can believe Charlotte is Kirsten's twin sister
...You can believe that Seth is next up to butt heads with the Dean
...One of the main characters will wind up dating Taylor
...After Ryan humps Marissa, Theresa will re-enter the show on cue
Friday, September 16, 2005
Thursday, September 15, 2005
Daily Brew 9/14
OK, let me get this straight, Kevin Mathis just so happened to tear his ACL and MCL in practice yesterday and is lost for the season? Did this injury occur during part of practice that was closed to the media?
The evidence is piling in my favor that this was indeed a work. Seriously, now you're gonna tell me that the "sacraficial lamb" Kevin Mathis injures his knee two days after he was suspended from the game for "fighting" with Jeremiah Trotter. C'mon, everyone reading this has to admit I was right.
Jeremiah Trotter could kill a bear in a fight if he wanted to, and this 180 pound nickle back is going to intice him into a fight?
Moving on, the crew dropped a heartbreaker last night, but like Fabos pointed out to me in an email this morning, I'm not all that disappointed because they didn't deserve to win. Clutch hitting was again no where to be seen, and they scored their only run on a balk. Nice job offense. Houston Rockets circa 1995 this team is not, especially when it comes to batting with runners in scoring position. (Thats "Clutch City" for those who aren't familiar)
.500 is going to be tough, they're one below right now at 72-73, and have to face the Cardinals, Cubs and Astros yet. They really needed to sweep the Diamondbacks and Pirates to give themselves a real good chance.
One of the strangest plays you will ever see in baseball occured last night when Tony Graffanino hit a home run and had to stop running the bases because Gabe Kapler, who was on first base, didn't know if the ball was going to clear the fence or not. Kapler was running so hard that when he rounded the bases he ruptured his achilles. A pinch runner had to be inserted during Graffanino's home run trot.
Just to tell you how much of a joke the WNBA is, their Finals Series is best of5. Win three games and you're champs. The real joke of it is it used to be best of 3. BEST OF 3! Get lucky twice and you're champs. Oh well, not like I really care. Seriously, do women even watch this? If my daughter played for one of the teams, and they played their games in Madison, here's how the conversation would go...
Daughter: "Coming to the game tonight dad?"
Me: "Ahh, you know what I gotta shovel some snow, you know how much your mom can nag."
Daughter: "But it's August Dad."
Me: "Look honey, there's no real easy way to say this, you're league is a joke. At first I thought it was kinda cute that you wanted to play basketball, and I encouraged it, but the truth is your mother and I get embarassed when people ask what you're doing now. It's gotten to the point where we tell everybody you went back to school in Australia."
Daughter: "But dad..."
Me: "Yeah I know, look I'd love to continue this, but real sports are on TV right now. Good luck with your thing tonight."
God I hope I don't have a daughter.
The evidence is piling in my favor that this was indeed a work. Seriously, now you're gonna tell me that the "sacraficial lamb" Kevin Mathis injures his knee two days after he was suspended from the game for "fighting" with Jeremiah Trotter. C'mon, everyone reading this has to admit I was right.
Jeremiah Trotter could kill a bear in a fight if he wanted to, and this 180 pound nickle back is going to intice him into a fight?
Moving on, the crew dropped a heartbreaker last night, but like Fabos pointed out to me in an email this morning, I'm not all that disappointed because they didn't deserve to win. Clutch hitting was again no where to be seen, and they scored their only run on a balk. Nice job offense. Houston Rockets circa 1995 this team is not, especially when it comes to batting with runners in scoring position. (Thats "Clutch City" for those who aren't familiar)
.500 is going to be tough, they're one below right now at 72-73, and have to face the Cardinals, Cubs and Astros yet. They really needed to sweep the Diamondbacks and Pirates to give themselves a real good chance.
One of the strangest plays you will ever see in baseball occured last night when Tony Graffanino hit a home run and had to stop running the bases because Gabe Kapler, who was on first base, didn't know if the ball was going to clear the fence or not. Kapler was running so hard that when he rounded the bases he ruptured his achilles. A pinch runner had to be inserted during Graffanino's home run trot.
Just to tell you how much of a joke the WNBA is, their Finals Series is best of5. Win three games and you're champs. The real joke of it is it used to be best of 3. BEST OF 3! Get lucky twice and you're champs. Oh well, not like I really care. Seriously, do women even watch this? If my daughter played for one of the teams, and they played their games in Madison, here's how the conversation would go...
Daughter: "Coming to the game tonight dad?"
Me: "Ahh, you know what I gotta shovel some snow, you know how much your mom can nag."
Daughter: "But it's August Dad."
Me: "Look honey, there's no real easy way to say this, you're league is a joke. At first I thought it was kinda cute that you wanted to play basketball, and I encouraged it, but the truth is your mother and I get embarassed when people ask what you're doing now. It's gotten to the point where we tell everybody you went back to school in Australia."
Daughter: "But dad..."
Me: "Yeah I know, look I'd love to continue this, but real sports are on TV right now. Good luck with your thing tonight."
God I hope I don't have a daughter.
Tuesday, September 13, 2005
Daily Brew 9/13
Man did the Eagles look bad last night. They just looked like they were going through the motions. The Falcons were jacked up for that game. It looked like they, especially Michael Vick, were playing at a different speed than the Eagles.
Before we get into any thing else here, I want to touch on two conspiracy theories of mine.
Number one, the "fight" last night between Kevin Mathis and Jeremiah Trotter was orchestrated by the Falcons.
Look at it from thier standpoint, you sacrafice your nickle cornerback against a team who really only has Terrell Owens at wide out, and you take their best linebacker out of the mix, allowing for Warrick Dunn and Michael Vick to run all over that defense.
There is no question that the Eagles are remarkably better against the run with Trotter in the middle, the numbers speak for that. He didn't start the first 8 weeks of the season last year. Coincidentally, the Eagles run defense ranked in the lower half of the league. When he as inserted in the middle in week 9, they reached the upper third.
The Falcons are a running team, they know their recievers aren't going to be burning anybody, and Michael Vick isn't going to be beating anybody yet if he's forced to soley pass the ball.
Let's get rid of Trotter so we can run up the middle with Duckett and on the edges with Dunn and Vick. It worked.
Just look at the smirk Jim Mora Jr. had after he confronted Kevin Mathis on it. He almost looked happy. Why else would 180 pound Kevin Mathis want to pick a fight with the 240+ pound Jeremiah Trotter in front of an offical?
Jim Mora is a genius. This move of his makes me like him even more than I did before. Don't kid yourself, it was thier strategy to do this.
The second conspiracy is one that Gaddis and Fabos will be familiar with after a flurry of emails yesterday.
Javon Walker knew something was wrong with his knee. Did he know he was going to tear his ACL, obviously not, but might he have know he had a slight tear? Maybe. I think he had a sore knee and knew something was up.
This is why he held out, he didn't want to risk injuring it in training camp or in any drills, so he waited until the preseason knowing full well that he'd see limited action in those games. That's also why he wanted a new contract. He knew the chance of injury was there so he better get his money now.
It makes perfect sense, admit it. Look at that play where he hurt it, how many of you thought when watching the game that the injury was anything more serious than a hyperextension or the case of knocking knees with the defender?
Remember Drew Rosenhaus saying they told the Packers they wanted a new deal last year? BS, I didn't even think he reperesented him last year. And if so, why didn't I, or anyone else in the media catch any wind of this? Why didn't people who work for the franchise know of this demand during the season last year?
Look, the proof is there. Mock both of these if you want, but it's there. That being said, I still don't necessarily believe either one, but it's just two things I thought I'd throw out there.
Back to the Monday Night game, why didn't Donovan McNabb ever look to run the ball? He had his chances where he could have picked up some nices chuncks of yardage, but never did.
The Eagles offensive line was just that, offensive. It looked absolutely horrible.
Every reciever not named Terrell Owens on the Eagles looked HORRIBLE. Even TO didn't look like a stud. Credit DeAngelo Hall, but also chalk some of that up to the TO/Donovan Saga. They clearly were not on the same page last night.
Enough football, lets talk some Brewers.
The Crew are 71-72. That's right, a 10-9 mark will give us a .500 season for the first time since I was 10 years old. I am now 23, that should say it all.
Chris Capuano takes the mound tonight, and three more times scheduled after that. He is 16-9 on the season, so he can feasibly win 20 games. If he could win his final four starts, this would have to be the most ho-hum 20 win season by any pitcher EVER, in the history of baseball. He's in the top 5 in wins, and yet no one outside of Milwaukee has ever heard of him. Even Arizona and they dealt him.
Joe Gibbs just shot himself in the foot by naming Mark Brunell as the starter for week 2. Do I think he's a better fit than is Ramsey, yeah, but you can't do this already. You've just lost Patrick Ramsey for the rest of your tenure now by telling him he's your guy all offseason and then demoting him after one week. You better hope Mark Brunell doesn't struggle otherwise your only other option is Jason Campbell.
It's been awhile since I've mention them, so I'll say it again. The Oakland A's are just one game behind the division leading Angels. Again people, Billy Beane knows what he's doing. Let's just let him go to work on the federal budget. If he can do all that he's done in Oakland with $40-50 million payrolls, I gotta believe he can get us out of the red within four years.
Before we get into any thing else here, I want to touch on two conspiracy theories of mine.
Number one, the "fight" last night between Kevin Mathis and Jeremiah Trotter was orchestrated by the Falcons.
Look at it from thier standpoint, you sacrafice your nickle cornerback against a team who really only has Terrell Owens at wide out, and you take their best linebacker out of the mix, allowing for Warrick Dunn and Michael Vick to run all over that defense.
There is no question that the Eagles are remarkably better against the run with Trotter in the middle, the numbers speak for that. He didn't start the first 8 weeks of the season last year. Coincidentally, the Eagles run defense ranked in the lower half of the league. When he as inserted in the middle in week 9, they reached the upper third.
The Falcons are a running team, they know their recievers aren't going to be burning anybody, and Michael Vick isn't going to be beating anybody yet if he's forced to soley pass the ball.
Let's get rid of Trotter so we can run up the middle with Duckett and on the edges with Dunn and Vick. It worked.
Just look at the smirk Jim Mora Jr. had after he confronted Kevin Mathis on it. He almost looked happy. Why else would 180 pound Kevin Mathis want to pick a fight with the 240+ pound Jeremiah Trotter in front of an offical?
Jim Mora is a genius. This move of his makes me like him even more than I did before. Don't kid yourself, it was thier strategy to do this.
The second conspiracy is one that Gaddis and Fabos will be familiar with after a flurry of emails yesterday.
Javon Walker knew something was wrong with his knee. Did he know he was going to tear his ACL, obviously not, but might he have know he had a slight tear? Maybe. I think he had a sore knee and knew something was up.
This is why he held out, he didn't want to risk injuring it in training camp or in any drills, so he waited until the preseason knowing full well that he'd see limited action in those games. That's also why he wanted a new contract. He knew the chance of injury was there so he better get his money now.
It makes perfect sense, admit it. Look at that play where he hurt it, how many of you thought when watching the game that the injury was anything more serious than a hyperextension or the case of knocking knees with the defender?
Remember Drew Rosenhaus saying they told the Packers they wanted a new deal last year? BS, I didn't even think he reperesented him last year. And if so, why didn't I, or anyone else in the media catch any wind of this? Why didn't people who work for the franchise know of this demand during the season last year?
Look, the proof is there. Mock both of these if you want, but it's there. That being said, I still don't necessarily believe either one, but it's just two things I thought I'd throw out there.
Back to the Monday Night game, why didn't Donovan McNabb ever look to run the ball? He had his chances where he could have picked up some nices chuncks of yardage, but never did.
The Eagles offensive line was just that, offensive. It looked absolutely horrible.
Every reciever not named Terrell Owens on the Eagles looked HORRIBLE. Even TO didn't look like a stud. Credit DeAngelo Hall, but also chalk some of that up to the TO/Donovan Saga. They clearly were not on the same page last night.
Enough football, lets talk some Brewers.
The Crew are 71-72. That's right, a 10-9 mark will give us a .500 season for the first time since I was 10 years old. I am now 23, that should say it all.
Chris Capuano takes the mound tonight, and three more times scheduled after that. He is 16-9 on the season, so he can feasibly win 20 games. If he could win his final four starts, this would have to be the most ho-hum 20 win season by any pitcher EVER, in the history of baseball. He's in the top 5 in wins, and yet no one outside of Milwaukee has ever heard of him. Even Arizona and they dealt him.
Joe Gibbs just shot himself in the foot by naming Mark Brunell as the starter for week 2. Do I think he's a better fit than is Ramsey, yeah, but you can't do this already. You've just lost Patrick Ramsey for the rest of your tenure now by telling him he's your guy all offseason and then demoting him after one week. You better hope Mark Brunell doesn't struggle otherwise your only other option is Jason Campbell.
It's been awhile since I've mention them, so I'll say it again. The Oakland A's are just one game behind the division leading Angels. Again people, Billy Beane knows what he's doing. Let's just let him go to work on the federal budget. If he can do all that he's done in Oakland with $40-50 million payrolls, I gotta believe he can get us out of the red within four years.
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